Living in, and from, your gift is one the five principles of living unbound.
In this inteview with the luminous Leah Kent we talk abour how to move more deeply into your gift and Leah shares:
- How harnessing the power of her cyclical nature has helped her to move more deeply into her gifts.
- How letting the go of the need to look completely ‘together’ online and share what happens behind the curtain was so transformational for her (and her business).
- Why giving herself permission to share something that wasn’t directly related to the work she’d been doing previously created such powerful results.
- How when we come together in community with other unbound women, there can be a beautiful ‘race to get naked’.
Take a look and hear more about Leah’s journey of fully expressing her gift. (And if you’d prefer, you can read the full transcript below).
Nicola: Hi, it’s Nicola Humber here. I’m here for another one of my Live Your Gift interviews. This time I’m joined by the luminous Leah Kent, one of my very favorite unbound women, who I love riffing with. So, I’m just really looking forward to us diving in to this.
Nicola: So, living in and from your gift is one of the five principles of living unbound and I know it’s something that a lot of unbound women can struggle with; that balance between really feeling that they’re in their gift and allowing themselves to be really beautifully supported when they’re doing that. And also, for a lot of unbound women, I’m sure this might come up with Leah because I know it’s something we both, kind of, can find challenging, is, you know, as unbound women we are multi-faceted we have lots of different ideas all the time and so it’s deciding which one of those to move forward with.
Nicola: So, [crosstalk 00:01:02] go on Leah
Leah: The fire hose of creativity is what you’re talking about.
Nicola: Exactly. You know, which is a gift in itself and we’re grateful for that, but it can be quite difficult to manage, yeah.
Leah: Yes.
Nicola: Absolutely. So, thank you so much Leah for being with me today.
Leah: Thank you for having me. Any opportunity to talk with you is my favorite part of the day. And I just love that you started by using the word luminous because as you know one of the things that I think has helped me, sort of be in my gift is when I started really embracing cycles and rhythms and, like, my version of being unbound has been dismantling within myself a lot of these, you know, I like that- let’s just say it, patriarchal, masculine, linear structures of like, “You should work 40 hours, and you should work 9 to 5, and you should get a traditional job”, and you know, stay on the path, right?
Leah: And I think- I just was hearing the whole little red riding hood fairy tale. I think it was Abby Wambach, the soccer player. And she talked about that as an allegory for how women are raised. You know, here’s your basket, stay on the forest path, don’t deviate. Because if you do you’re going to get eaten by a wolf. That’s what like we were raised with. We were all told “Put on your clothes, don’t be seen. Here’s the basket, do what you’re told. And if you take one foot off that path and follow curiosity or, you know, follow passion or follow interest something really bad is going to happen to you.” And then, you know, on top of it you’ll have to be rescued by a man.
Nicola: Exactly.
Leah: So…
Nicola: Go on.
Leah: …so, that’s- so, I think that this idea of going back to these rhythms and these cycles and these uniquely, earthy, feminine structures. And, like, they’re so foundational, they’re so fundamental, they’re more fundamental than this linear construct that we find ourselves in. It’s far more fundamental to be connected to rhythm and season and moon and, you know, nature. And yet, that was kind of taught out of us. And so this is…to me this is the unbinding that I find myself doing is really just like the deeply deep work of letting go of that whole package that…
Nicola: Yeah
Leah: …was kind of forced upon me. I’m like, “Well, thanks. I’m good.” So that’s what the process feels like.
Nicola: Exactly. Exactly. And I’m so glad you mentioned- you kind of dived straight in there to talking about the cycles, the different cycles that we experience and that we’re part of in our lives and, you know, that’s one of the other principles of living unbound; is to harness the power of your cyclical nature, which is, you said, is kind of, it’s taught out of us. We’re conditioned to operate in this very linear way and that things will just kind of progress in this, in this kind of step by step way. If you do this you get this and then you do this and then, and we both know that is not the case. The unbound path is one of many twists and turns.
Leah: Right.
Nicola: And the magic happens when you step off the expected path.
Leah: Yes.
Nicola: So, can you talk a bit more about how that’s been your experience?
Leah: Yeah, I mean. So, and this is what came, like specifically, out of being in Live Your Gift…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …was this challenge that you presented to be a little bit more real when communicating with your audience and show a little bit more behind the scenes. Okay, that’s the challenge that you put out.
Nicola: Yes I did.
Leah: You know what? Alright, I’ll do it. I have to say, I want to say for context and to really illustrate the transformation that happened here, I have done like, what’s your entrepreneur personality? And what kind of a writer are you? And personality testing. And I always come back as like, very like, high power and low transparency. Okay? So, which means I tend to, I tend to gravitate towards trying to be a like, the Wizard of Oz, right? Like, I don’t want you to look behind the curtain, I want you to think I’m all powerful, I have all the answers and it is not natural for me to say, “Here’s my vulnerability.” That’s not, that’s not my thing.
Nicola: I didn’t know that about you actually. So, this is just giving me tingles [crosstalk 00:06:13]
Leah: No, I like to put on a good show. Like, I like to put on the good face and, you know, I think other people will resonate when you, kind of, come from a family with some funky chaos stuff going on behind the scenes, that doesn’t make sense to anybody else.
Leah: Then you, kind of, have a tendency, out of protection, you’re like, “I don’t know what will happen. So, I better cover this all up because it’s too uncertain what would happen if everybody knew what was going on here.” I’m not trying to paint that I was some massive abuse victim, but I was raised in a very chaotic, dysfunctional and there’s some mental illness stuff going on in my family. And, so, I developed, sort of, this coping skill of… I think it came from the desire to fit in. Right? So, it was always like, “I don’t want you to know who I really am, so I’m gonna just try to fit in with everybody else.” And, so, I think it amplified that sort of perfectionism and then as an adult as I’m turning into a writer I just felt like, like better just show them that I know what I’m doing.
Leah: So, as the straight A student who was just like, “If I’m going to write about spirituality I’m going to tell you how amazing it is”, but I wasn’t always showing people, like, that this was the journey. So, people were like, “Okay, you’re happy, but like who cares?” So, now, in this challenge of, you know, be more authentic. Like, have a more honest conversation with your community and that was a big challenge. So, this is my before. I don’t show you what’s wrong. That’s how I think.
Nicola: Just show the end result.
Leah: I show how amazing it is.
Nicola: Yeah.
Leah: Yeah. So, then to start talking about, but how did I get here and why did I even take on this path? It’s a newer thing. And this is another important thing is because a lot of what I have to say has to do with somebody else. You know, like with a primary family member. And, so, there was also this idea of, like, “Well, I don’t want it to look like, you know, I’m throwing somebody under the bus or, like, what will happen if I start talking about this more honestly?” I have a lot of fear. I still have some fear around talking about other people.
Leah: So, I’m learning how to do that in a really, like, aligned way that’s just brimming with integrity. Like, that’s my goal. Like, on the one hand, I have a right to tell my story and on the other hand I feel, you know, strongly about doing it in a way that’s really filled with integrity so that if it comes back and is challenged or questioned, I at least in myself can say, “I took a lot of thought with this. This is what I felt really good about sharing.” So, I know I’ve gone through my paces when I start talking about other people. Which I did.
Leah: So, I- and it’s funny you and I, a long time ago, had a conversation about these boundaries and, for me, it’s a lot with like my mother and my sister. And, so, which is, again, very common. Right? Like these sister and, man, it’s just like there’s so much healing and opportunities here. And that’s why this is so important to do. And I think that’s why I said, “You know what? I’m taking this challenge on because I know I’m not the only one.” When I’m having one on one conversations with friends and clients I hear resonance with my story. When I talk about what it’s like to be, you know, raised in an environment where your emotional boundaries aren’t respected other people know what I’m talking about. So, we need more voices talking about it.
Leah: So, I rose to the challenge and I wrote a really vulnerable post and I just was like- embraced Mother’s Day as a chance to say, “We don’t all have great relationships with our Mothers and like here’s some thoughts around it that-” and this is what I’m doing that hopefully, you know, if there’s even nugget that somebody else resonates with that they either feel validated or feel acknowledged. Yeah, any little gem they can walk away with. That makes all the difference. So, that makes it worth it.
Leah: So, this was the piece I wrote and the thing that people say is, like, when you start being really honest and when you really dig in and start speaking from the heart and speaking your truth people will step up usually and say, “Oh my gosh. It was like you were writing to me. Oh my gosh. You could’ve been writing this out of my journal. How did you know how I felt?” And, in my little ivory tower, that’s not the response that I got.
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: People are just like, “Meh.” You know, within reason. And then with this really like potent, vulnerable post that came out of the Live Your Gift experience I was having people saying, “Like, you’re reading my mind.”
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: And so to me, this was like, “Okay, this is why I’m doing this. This is why it’s worth it to walk through the fire and be more honest.” And so now I’m obsessed with being more and more and more and more honest in my writing, in my marketing, and in my courses. Like I’m ready to sort of be messy, and share the behind the scenes so that I become a richer and fuller leader, and…
Nicola: Yeah.
Leah: …and colleague, and writer.
Nicola: Absolutely. Absolutely. I’m noticing like really key words that you’ve used there that are talking about the potency of what you wrote, that post that you wrote. And what we do after this is put that below this video so that people can just see it if they haven’t seen it. But it is, there’s something really, really magical that happens when we share from that place and that richness that you talk about. You know, we feel really rich, you know, cause we are truly in our gift. We’re being fullest, freest, selves. But also, that comes across to everyone who reads it, or sees it, it’s like you say. It’s like you’re speaking directly to your soul mate, kind of [inaudible 00:12:42] being the women who are in your audience and that is so so powerful. And so beautiful to witness as well. It literally gave me goosebumps when I read your post. And, you know, I can so identify with what you talked about kind of, the before where we like to show the end results and, you know me, I’m a recovering good girl, that’s a big part of my story.
Nicola: So, it feels much more comfortable to show, kind of, the finished product and say “Oh, look where I am” or “This is really great”. And we can do that! We can do that easily, can’t we? We can show up and we can write lovely posts and it’s relatively easy to do that, but when we allow ourselves to go a bit deeper, that’s where the magic happens.
Leah: It’s true.
Nicola: Yeah. Yeah, and actually, you know, as you’ve talked about, you were part of the Live Your Gift process recently and this was one aspect of it, the visibility module . What I asked you to do was to really connect with your unbound self and from that place, you know, see what came up. See what wanted to be shared.
Leah: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Nicola: Were you surprised at what came up? Because it’s quite different in terms of subject matter really, to what you would normally share. [crosstalk 00:14:11]
Leah: It is. Yeah, I mean, I think in some ways I was and in some ways I wasn’t. Like, I, a few years ago, heard this term: the mother wound.
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: Which is all, you know, a conversation that’s happening around the thing that happens with certain mothering personalities and what the effect of that is on the daughter, in particular the daughter. I mean, I’m sure the son too, but there’s something about the mother/daughter dynamic in which that’s quote unquote supposed to be your model of what like, a healthy feminine being is.
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: And so if there’s something that’s like, I mean my situation is it’s not like “oh, it’s a little weird.” It’s beyond that. It’s more extreme. It’s subtle but it’s more extreme and so it becomes this tricky territory to navigate. So that’s where the resistance was to sharing about it, was feeling like I hardly understand what’s happening myself, or it’s new for me to have some words to put around it. I’m afraid people aren’t going to agree with me. So, I think because, you know, it’s like I wasn’t surprised because it’s been brewing behind the scenes…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …that eventually I was going to need to start talking about my experience growing up with this relationship and this personality that I grew up with that, I say the personality because it’s not even like my parent, it’s this personality thing that’s on top of that human being. And so, the thing is, I’m not the only one who’s had some kind of an experience like this. And so, that’s why I think it came out in this like, we have to start telling the story because this is fundamental. This is why you do what you do. Like, you do what you do because you had to find your own way because you didn’t have, I’m saying this is how I would talk to somebody else, I didn’t have, this is what my higher self says to me: “Leah, [crosstalk 00:16:38]. You know, Leah you had to be your own parent in a lot of ways.” You know, there’s all this stuff that’s coming up and I will say, and I feel like I’ve already lost track of your question, but I wasn’t that surprised. Because…
Nicola: Yeah.
Leah: …it had been brewing, but I was resistant. I was very resistant to heading this call. I’ve been really resistant and so, a lot of different factors have been coming together where finally when the voice comes up again, in this process of like, okay I’m bound south, what is it that we’re here to share? This was what came out and so it was like, “Okay, I have to go with this.” And then sure enough, there’s resonance and then I’ll share with you cause you don’t know this anecdote yet.
Leah: So then I was like, so I do this really cool chiropractic energy work very regularly right now…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …through this amazing 6 month treatment process. And so, they’re all really connected, you know like, the freedom, and the ease, and feeling stronger, and more capable of speaking up. And just our context, right? Like the wonderful glorious thing about this particular moment in time is that things have gone so poorly on a global scale.
Nicola: Yes.
Leah: I heard a joke on a TV show, it was like “Okay, men you’ve been doing this for ten thousand years and it’s not working out. It’s our turn now.” Step aside.
Nicola: Absolutely.
Leah: Which I get that! We gave you a run, we gave you ten thousand years and you’re done. So, this is why it’s so important for me to talk about mothering and in the context of being an adult daughter, we have to somehow find a way to find some peace with our parent and then we also do this, I mean for me, I’m not a parenting coach, but, on a personal level a lot of my motivation is to unravel funky stuff so that I can be really conscious, present, healthy parent. And then, I think my goal is just to help as many other women who I think that these are going to be my clients are the other women who’ve had this experience.
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: Or a good majority of clients will be like, “Okay, yeah, I know what you’re talking about.” So, that’s what happened and so I just had to basically listen to the call.
Nicola: Yeah, it sounds like it was pretty, like, you asked the question, your unbound self is like, well this is what you need to share. And I love that you are, you know, brave enough and courageous enough to go with that because I think, again and this is something that can get in our way, is this idea of like, “Oh, well, you know, maybe this is quite different to what I’ve shared before and what am I gonna do with this?”
Leah: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Nicola: You know, I’m gonna share this and then what? So sometimes…
Leah: Yeah.
Nicola: …you wanna have that clarity before we’re putting stuff out there but actually, if we share from this place and allow that to evolve, that can be the most powerful way forwards. It is the most powerful way forwards.
Leah: I think so and really I think there’s a place in anybody who’s a creative, a speaker, a writer, I think there’s always a place, you know, for a connection post…
Nicola: Yeah.
Leah: …or a connection piece that’s just merely like, “Here’s who I am.” And it doesn’t always have to be, you know, “5 ways to do this”. Those are super popular and they are search engine gems but…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …and that was advice you gave, which I think is so important is to be thinking about not every post has to be shared in the same way. So, and that there could be different versions of the same…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …truthful post. And so, this is something where I imagine working with this theme more in my work because ultimately, I mean, this is where it’s so beautiful. Like, if you think about the broadest quote unquote themes in whatever your work is, there’s usually a place for this. So, for me, I do so much energy healing conversations and, yeah, so that’s, to me, where it falls under. It’s like this self healing. You know, so I think, stories of self healing, and evolution, and personal growth, I mean, they’re always, that fits with me. Even if this more specific than, you know, soul purpose and moon, and tarot, which are the sort of, 3 topics I feel like describe me…
Nicola: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Leah: …if you have to put a check box around it. And so…
Nicola: [inaudible 00:21:34]
Leah: So, like where does the disfunctional mother fit in with tarot, soul purpose, and so it was like, kind of all of it. I mean, I wouldn’t have sought out all of these tools, I wouldn’t need all of these tools quite so much if I hadn’t had the, you know, upbringing and dynamic that I had, so, that’s where it all fits together.
Nicola: Yeah, and that’s, I can’t say the word, the specific nature of it is what makes it really powerful. You know we can talk in more general terms about soul purpose and energy healing and those, you know, the modality you work with but when you share these really, kind of, specific aspects of your own journey and your own experience, it’s like, you know, you can feel it physically. It’s like, kind of, I wanna come closer when I see something like that.
Leah: Yeah.
Nicola: I wanna come closer to that person. It’s so so powerful. I wanna talk about the power of, kind of, being in community when we’re doing this kind of work and we’re moving more deeply into our gifts and, you know, being our fullest selves, allowing ourselves to be freer around that. And I know you’re a big believer, you know, you run an amazing community online. You’ve got an amazing group of women in your community. But in this, you know, specifically in this case, as part of the Live Your Gift process, what was it like to be within that group who were all, kind of, experimenting and playing with similar ideas?
Leah: Well, so what happens is so absolutely beautiful and this what happened for me in Live Your Gift was, it’s the shared purpose, right? Like we have such a, and this again speaks to the power of being really specific, right? So it’s like when you’re here to do something very specific, and you all have that in common, the resonance seems to just amplify. So everybody is there for the same reason. Which is, you know, yeah we’ve all said yes to living our gift and being unbound and we’ve all said yes to you. And you have just such a magnetic pull on awesome, amazing women. Cause that’s what you’ve chosen to do in the world. And so, I mean, there’s that.
Leah: So, they’ve all been vetted because they’re connected through you and you’re such an amazing, you know, central, unifying force. And then on top of it, everybody’s there with that purpose of expansion. And so that right there is such a juicy little concoction that was fun to swim in. And really these days, like a little pop up online group is a dime a dozen so, this is where the real life community is so valuable. So, like the fact that you have cultivated a real life community, there’s a genuine authentic connection. So, then that translated through. So, I have already basically said, “Okay, like you guys, this is a great tribe! Let’s do some more of this being super vulnerable.” And, I think it’s nice when you’re expanding in this way and you’re trying to be softer, and more real, and more honest.
Leah: It’s really nice to know that you can go to like, a safe, cozy place where everyone is going to be supportive and they’re not going to like, you know, rip apart your post and call you names. They’ll be like, “Awesome! Here’s my crazy vulnerable post!”
Nicola: Yeah, exactly!
Leah: And so we have a little honesty festival and so, I think it ends up everyone then encourages one another like, “Whoa! She was vulnerable, okay I’m going to be even more vulnerable!” So there’s like, it’s like a race to get naked. Who will be the most vulnerable of all…
Nicola: I love it.
Leah: …with their posts. Yeah, you can have that. Yeah, so…
Nicola: Race to get naked.
Leah: …so then that’s like an upward spiral, so it was a very inspiring community for this living our gift. And I really like, I don’t have this experience all the time, but I really walked away being like, “Okay, I wanna get to know these ladies more.” Cause we’re all saying yes to play a much bigger game with our writing so these are like; this is group of powerful people, powerful women. So, yeah, it really stands out.
Nicola: Ah, that’s fantastic. That’s fantastic. And you know, you mentioned earlier about being a leader and you know that’s very much how I see the women in my community. You know, everyone who steps forward in one way or another, is here to be a leader on this new and unbound path. And this path of unbinding and finding these new ways. So I’m so glad that you had that experience. And, of course you would, because you’re such an incredible being yourself. [crosstalk 00:26:55]
Nicola: I could literally, you know this, I could talk to you all day.
Leah: Well, that is gonna happen one day. We will manifest.
Nicola: Literally a whole day.
Leah: We’re gonna have a whole day one day. Yup.
Nicola: I don’t know if we’ll do it on Facebook live but you know.
Leah: No, I hope it’s in person.
Nicola: Yeah, exactly. We will, we will. I’m back in the states very soon so we gonna arrange something. But for everyone else, Leah, who’s been listening to what you’ve been talking about here and like I said, I’m gonna share the post about motherhood below this video afterwards. But if people wanna find out more about what you do and how they can connect with you, what’s the best way for them to do that?
Leah: You can take a peek at leahcherrykent.com and I have cool stuff on there. And free things too. Like, I’m really delighted to share things around tarot, and intuition, and sacred lunar rituals, and crystals, like all that good stuff. And I do have a Facebook group that is Radiant Woman Circle and people can just, like, email me. You can just email me! Hello! At leahcherrykent.com. Like I’m so here to be in connection.
Nicola: I love that. I love that. So, good to speak to you.
Leah: You too.
Nicola: Just always, always a pleasure. Sometimes we have to kind of arrange to do interviews, just so that we can actually speak to each other and schedule [inaudible 00:28:34]
Leah: Yes.
Nicola: Thank you so much Leah for you know, talking with me today and really being such a shining example of living your gift, and sharing your magic with the world. It’s just, like I said, that word: luminous, it describes you…
Leah: Thank you.
Nicola: …so fully and beautifully. So thank you, I encourage everyone to go and check out Leah’s work and if you want to find a community, step into a community, where we’re able to explore the things we’ve talked about a bit more deeply; I am opening a new online space: The Unbound Collective, that will be opening at the end of the month. And I’ll put the link to get on the wait list below this video as well. So go and check that out!
Nicola: Alright, my lovely, I will see you again soon. And thanks to everyone for watching! And here’s to living your gift!
Leah: Yes.
Nicola: See you soon!
Leah: Yup.
Nicola: Bye.
Links mentioned in the interview:
Read Leah’s post on motherhood at: https://www.leahcherrykent.com/blog/2018/05/healingthemotherdaughterrelationship
Find out more about Leah’s work at: https://www.leahcherrykent.com
Join The Unbound Collective and get immediate access to the Live Your Gift program at: https://nicolahumber.com/unbound-collective/
