I spent last weekend at a music festival in my hometown of Southampton and one of the headline acts, Grace Jones, completely blew me away with her performance and totally umcomprimising attitude.
She is a complete star in every sense of the word and the personification of a ‘diva’.
Seeing her perform got me thinking about how often we refuse to take a leading role in our own lives (and when we see someone else rocking it out in their lives, our first response can often be critical).
So, here’s what I took from Grace Jones’ performance – three lessons we can learn from a diva.
1) Be unapologetic
A diva is 100% unapologetic. She doesn’t play herself down or keep herself small.
Grace Jones certainly didn’t creep onto the stage. She strode out and made her mark. When something didn’t go as planned, she didn’t say, ‘Oh, I’m sorry about that, I’ve messed up!’ She simply acknowledged it with good humour and carried on.
Of course, if you genuinely hurt someone, then an apology is in order, but how often do you say sorry or undermine yourself in some way for no valid reason whatsoever?
I found myself doing this the other day. I was one of two main speakers at a conference. I hadn’t met the other speaker before, but I’d heard of her in the online world. When we were introduced, she mentioned that she’d heard of me and I immediately jumped in with a jokey, ‘Oh, that’s ominous’ comment.
I didn’t allow her to expand on what she had to say. I shut the moment down with a ‘It’s-safer-to-stay-small’ joke. I dimmed my light. (I was completely un-diva-esque!)
Later I found out that one of her clients had spoken about me with admiration and that’s how she knew about me. I very nearly didn’t get to receive this positive feedback though , as I was busy deflecting.
Embrace your inner diva. Don’t apologise for your existence!
2) Ask for what you want
A diva asks for (and receives) exactly what she wants.
During her performance, Grace Jones regularly asked for whatever she wanted from her team – whether it was some water, a glass of wine or the appearance of her male pole dancer, she was super-clear about what she needed and wanted.
She didn’t wait for someone to offer. She didn’t hang back in the hope that someone would read her mind and meet her needs.
She simply asked.
How often do you keep your desires (big or small) in your head, rather than expressing them?
I’m not saying you have to demand your very own pole dancer (although if that floats your boat gorgeous, please do go ahead!), but whether it’s letting your partner know where you want to go for dinner, or making a bold declaration to the Universe, ask for what you want.
3) Be your unique self
A diva embraces and expresses her unique-ness with every opportunity.
Grace Jones didn’t shuffle onto the stage in any common-or-garden outfit, oh no. She appeared with a huge head-dress, some body paint and very little else.
She also performed one song whilst hula-hooping the whole way through.
She was absolutely NOT trying to fit in. She hadn’t watered herself down in the hope people would like her. She was 100% herself and if someone didn’t like it, too bad.
So, let me ask you a question. How much of yourself are you expressing in your life and your business right now? Are you unashamedly you, or are you only portraying the aspects of yourself that you deem to be acceptable?
When we hold back on being fully ourselves, we become bland. In trying to be more ‘acceptable’, we become less attractive to the people who would otherwise be raving fans.
Whether it’s on social media, in your writing or in person, notice where you are holding yourself back right now, and allow your unique self to shine through.
You will become compellingly attractive in the process.
So from now on, ask yourself the question, ‘What would my inner diva do in this situation?’ and listen to the answer. I guarantee you will be, do and have a whole lot more in your life when you follow her glorious lead!
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