Recently I saw yet another example of someone encouraging fear-based marketing. A sales expert was recommending that the way to increase urgency with potential clients was by focusing on their pain and keeping them in that long enough during sales conversations so they’re more motivated to work with you.
I literally wanted to throw-up when I heard this (and sorry if that’s tmi, but my body just couldn’t stomach it).
Because this advice feels OLD.
It’s based on fear.
And it perpetuates a limited, hierarchal and manipulative way of connecting with clients.
But the depressing truth is that this approach does work for many people; for MOST people even. So people continue to use it and people continue to teach it.
I was taught to sell my services in this way when I started my business. So I did. I focused on my potential client’s pain points. And I made sales. (Although to be honest, I was never very good at keeping someone in their pain).
But I can’t tolerate this kind of sales and marketing any more. My Unbound Self won’t let me.
And I know it’s the same for many of the other women in my community.
We’re here to create new ways.
We’re here to turn old, constricting ways of doing things on their head (even if those old ways have been successful in the past).
We’re here to change the world.
And the unbound woman goes first. She doesn’t wait for everyone else to figure it out. She leads the way.
So in this article I’m talking about some alternatives to fear-based sales and marketing, to show you that there’s another way and to inspire you to do things differently.
Before I dive in, I want to say that firstly I am NOT a sales expert. Whether it’s with my books, my mastermind groups, events or 1:1 mentoring, my intention is NOT to make as many sales as possible.
My intention is to hold space for you to be your fullest, freest self. That is a process and at times it may be incredibly beneficial for you to work with me in some way, but I’m not going to artificially create that need or rush you into taking that step.
So, I can pretty much guarantee that I miss out on sales regularly. And that’s okay (for some of the reasons I’m going to be sharing during this article).
When we’re committed to creating new ways, we can feel like we’re in-between worlds and that isn’t always (or ever!) comfortable. People don’t always get us and they’re not always ready for how we work. I’m good with that. I invite you to be in that in-between space, to relish it and acknowledge yourself as the pioneer you truly are.
Secondly I know that some sales experts would say that I’m not being as of service as I could be by choosing to not focus on my potential client’s pain. They would say I’m not giving them the opportunity to feel motivated enough to work with me and access the transformation they’re looking for.
I get that. And again I’m good with it.
I’m good with it because of the reasons I’ve shared above. And I’m also good with it, because I’ve had experiences myself of being sold to by someone who wanted to focus on my pain and take me through it in exquisite detail. Even though (very rarely) I might have decided to buy from that place, it’s always felt gross. And I’ve never created the results I thought I wanted when a process has begun in that way. (Although it’s always been a learning experience).
Conversely when someone has sold to me based on a feeling of possibility and expansion, it’s felt amazing. When I’ve made decisions to invest substantial amounts in 1:1 mentoring and programs, I’ve never done so out of fear. And this has been reflected in the results I’ve created.
Anyway, let’s move on. I want to share some ideas with you that are designed to shift your perspective. I’m pretty sure that as an unbound woman, you’re probably doing a lot of this already (even if it’s unconsciously), but it’s always good to have it affirmed that you’re not the only one who feels like this.
So, here are five ways to steer clear of icksome, fear-based sales and marketing
1) Create a movement around your work
I know you. You’re here to create real change in the world. Not just for you. And not just for your clients. But for the collective.
You’re a trail-blazer.
A paradigm-shifter.
An unbound leader.
So, rather than getting too hung-up on ideal clients, niching, pain points and super-specific, rigid outcomes, I invite you to think about the movement you want to create around your work. See your audience, your clients and potential clients as a community who are all part of that movement.
What’s the change you want to create in the world? What’s important to you? What vision do you hold for your community and each member of it?
When you focus on these kind of questions, when you see your work as a movement and your people as a community, it takes you (and your potential clients) out of any limited, fearful and ego-based thinking and into a place of huge creative possibility. This is incredibly compelling.
It makes your work something you couldn’t NOT do.
And your audience want to be part of it.
All of my work around UNBOUND is about activating other women to live a fully expressed life and to be their truest, most magnificent selves. My movement is about freedom. Sometimes this happens through my writing and sometimes through me supporting my clients with their writing, or their businesses. Everything comes together under that one word, that one theme, that one movement – unbound. And the women who choose to work with me deeply resonate with that.
I have women in my community who are creating movements around self-care, magic, desire, food, skin-care, politics, parenthood, public relations, travel and home-schooling. Because they have this commitment to creating something bigger than them, something bigger than purely the work they do directly with their clients, they can’t help but experience and activate a greater sense of inspiration in both themselves and those around them. It’s like a delicious upward spiral.
When you think about your work in this way, you expand and move into a frequency that’s magnetic to your soul-family clients.
2) Focus on the feeling
Rather than focusing on your potential client’s pain points and keeping them in this for the sake of creating a sale, I invite you to ask the following question:
‘How do I want my clients to FEEL when they work with me and beyond?’
When we focus on the feeling (or more likely feelings), we give ourselves and our clients room to play. We’re not tied to rigid and limiting outcomes. We’re not focusing on what they DON’T want. We open up space for magic to happen.
And I’m not saying here that you should only focus on seemingly ‘positive’ feelings. The aim here is to honour the full spectrum of your clients’ and potential clients’ experience. You can allow space for any pain without making it the focus of your work and/or your sales process.
For example, I want the women who work with me to feel unbound (obviously!), expansive, deep possibility, magical, potent, playful AND also a sense of rage and sadness at the ways they’ve been conditioned to hold back in the past.
When these feelings are mixed together, it’s alchemical.
As you’re focusing on the feelings you want your clients to experience through your work, you can also find ways to feel this way yourself. (It’s very likely that these will be feelings you’re already consciously cultivating in your life, but you can start to be even more intentional about this).
When you focus on the feeling(s), you can speak about this in your writing, in your videos, in your lives, on social media. You’ll also be vibrating in a way that can’t help but attract people who want to work with you. Which moves me onto my next point…
3) Come from a place of want, not need
This may sound blunt, but I don’t want to work with people who need to work with me. I much prefer to work with people who want to work with me.
Need always implies lack. Something you need is, by default, something you lack.
And I don’t want to make you feel that you need anything.
The truth is that you are a magnificent, luminous, abundant, unbound being. (Oh my goodness, you’re freaking amazing!) And I don’t want you to feel anything less than that.
My intention with my work is to hold you in your magnificence, to make space for your brilliance and to encourage you to step into ALL that you are.
You don’t need to do that. But if you want to, I’m your gal.
When you focus on pain in your marketing and sales, you put your client into need. You make them think they’re in lack. And it’s just not true!!!! (Even if it feels like it is to them).
Now I’m going to back up for a second here and say that this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t empathise with any pain or feelings of lack. We’re all human here, having our human experience and that means that we regularly slip out of the awareness that we are limitless, magnificent, unbound beings. I’ll talk more about how to show this understanding and empathy in the next point.
What I’m saying here is to be intentional about creating desire to work with you, rather than creating a perceived need to work with you. Because energetically those two forces are VERY different and choosing to focus on desire is going to feel much more expansive to you in your sales and marketing. And because it feels more expansive to you, it will also feel that way to your potential clients. #winwin
4) Create empathy in the ways you choose to connect with your potential clients
I was going to use the word ‘marketing’, rather than ‘ways you choose to connect with your potential clients’ (which doesn’t exactly slip off the tongue!), but I want to acknowledge the fact that not everything you share is necessarily ‘marketing’.
As the world changes, the lines between marketing and simply choosing to be fully expressed are blurring. You connect with your potential clients in all sorts of magical ways, including energetically, and this is how you can let them know that you ‘see’ them. What I mean by that is writing or speaking in a way that shows you have a deep understanding of where they are, including any challenges or pain they’re experiencing.
It’s very likely that your potential clients are on a similar path to you and so it’s helpful for them to hear about your journey, the challenges you’ve overcome and how you’ve done that and also the challenges you’re still experiencing and how you’re supporting yourself through them.
Everything you share is an opportunity to create connection with your people. To let them know you get them. When you do this, you don’t need to take them more deeply into their pain during the sales process. Potential clients contact you already knowing that you can support them in a powerful way, so any sales conversation is relatively simple.
This is why I LOVE writing books. They’re a wonderful chance to create a deep relationship with each reader, so they feel like they already know you. They know what you stand for and what you do, which makes deciding to work with you super-easy.
But you don’t have to write a book (although if you want to, I’ll be cheering you on). You can write articles (like this one or this one), do a FB or Insta live, create an interview series, make a video – anything that creates a sense of connection and understanding.
In the past women have decided to work with me from reading one article or seeing one interview I’ve done with someone else. When we come from a place of full expression and connection, it’s a powerful force.
5) Be willing to let potential clients go
When we use fear-based marketing tactics and focus on pain, we attract clients with fear-based goals. And that’s no fun for the unbound woman.
You want to work with people who light you up, who share your vision and feel like soul-family. And I recommend that you’re super-discerning about that.
It’s okay to let potential clients go if it doesn’t feel like a good fit. Really.
I know this might feel counterintuitive, particularly if you’ve been struggling to find clients.
But believe me, the more intentional you are about the kind of clients you want to work with (and the kind of clients you really don’t), then the easier it will be to attract them.
And the fact is when you’re creating new ways, you’re NOT going to be for everyone anyway. Not everyone will get you and how you work. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. Because when you let go of anyone who doesn’t fully appreciate your magic, you can truly start to live deep in your gifts.
This also applies to the way you work with your clients. I encourage you to only work in ways that feel amazing for you – whether that’s 1:1 or groups, online or offline, long-term or short-term, choose what feels good for you and you can’t help but clear the way for more clients to come to you.
Okay, unbound one. This started as a simple post on social media but has evolved into a full-blown article. If you’ve got to this point, go you! You’re either resonating with that I’m sharing or vehemently disagreeing with every word. (If it’s the latter, you probably don’t want to check out the next step I’m suggesting below).
Your next step:
Want to find out more about working with me one-to-one to create your own version of an unbound business? Click here.
