Recently I received this question from one of my clients:
‘When I think about manifesting something I start to panic. I keep getting the words ‘Be careful what you wish for’ come to mind.
I worry that unless I get every detail right and cover every eventuality that I might technically get what I ask for, but it isn’t actually what I meant or wanted.
Can you help?’
This is a great question!
‘Be careful what you wish for’ is part of our cultural psyche. Many of us were told this when we were growing up – by parents, grandparents and teachers. And these words can have a powerful paralysing effect.
When you’re consciously using the law of attraction, the most important thing is to be as free as possible from resistance. However, if you’re trying to be careful and ‘get it right’, then you automatically slip into a place of resistance and this is the dilemma.
But fear not. There is a way to move out of resistance and become a master of manifestation.
The fact is you’re constantly manifesting regardless of whether you’re doing it consciously or not. (You can’t NOT be using the law of attraction).
What you have in your life right now is evidence of your manifesting to date. One of my mentors uses the phrase ‘Having is evidence of wanting’.
Hmmm, interesting.
And challenging.
Particularly if you feel that what you have in your life right now doesn’t reflect in any way what you actually want. Wtf is going on there?
The truth is that if you’re having trouble manifesting what you think you want, then something else is at play. And that something else is your subconscious mind – the deep, mysterious part of your mind that holds all of the patterns, programmes, fears, enchantments and beliefs that have been created during your lifetime.
Some of this ‘stuff’ is helpful, protecting you from danger and making sure you don’t have to tackle every task like it’s the first time you’ve done it.
And some of it, not so much.
The tricksy thing is that the very nature of your subconscious mind means that it’s generally out of your awareness. (If you were aware of everything in your subconscious mind, you’d shut down quicker than an overloaded computer server).
So we need to find ways of bringing our subconscious stuff into our awareness, so we can manifest in a clearer, more powerful way.
Fortunately I have some ways for you to do this. As a witchy hypnotherapist, I spend much of my time delving into the subconscious. And I’m going to share some fairly simple techniques here with you now. You’re welcome!
Heads up: You don’t have to work through all of these tips unless you feel especially called to. Start with the one that feels most compelling for you right now and take it from there. This is an evolving process. Have fun with it.
Tip One
Look at anything you’ve consciously used the law of attraction to create and reflect on how it actually manifested.
How is it different from what you hoped for/expected?
What does this tell you about your underlying beliefs? For example, say you manifested a new client but then they backed out or became a pain to work with, it could signify a belief that your work isn’t good enough or making money has to be a pain or come at a cost.
The key thing here is to find your own meaning.
Once you have brought these beliefs into your awareness, you can begin to shift them. Actually just bringing them into your awareness and shining a light on them is a big step towards changing them.
You can find out more about how to transform limiting beliefs here.
Tip Two
Reflect on something you have in your life right now that you feel you really don’t want – maybe some debt or a lack of clients. Ask yourself:
If there was a part of me that actually wanted to experience this, what need is it trying to meet?
How do I benefit from this situation?
What do I gain from having this?
Now you might be thinking, ‘Nicola, are you crazy? There is no way I benefit from having zero clients or a shedload of debt.’
But humour me. Give this some time and dig deep. If there was some kind of gain here, what would it be?
Maybe there’s a part of that needs to feel small and safe so it creates a limited financial situation for you to do this?
Perhaps you were brought up in a family that had a lot of debt and it feels familiar to you? If you were financially abundant, perhaps you wouldn’t quite fit in with your family or friends?
Maybe deep down you worry that you’ll be criticised if you make a lot of money/do well in your business, so you unconsciously repel clients?
Spend some time writing down all the possible ways you benefit from your current situation. In a similar way to tip one, just doing this will begin to create a shift.
To take this a step further, think about the part of you that has manifested this situation – the part of you that most is most likely trying to protect you in some way.
Imagine what this part of you is like. What does she look like? What kind of things does she say? Who does she remind you of?
See if you can find a way to send this part of you some love and appreciation for all the hard work she’s done up until now. Let this part of you know that you’re ready to experience something different. You can either do this in meditation or as a letter in your journal.
Find out more about how to work in this way in my book, Heal Your Inner Good Girl.
Tip Three
When you’re thinking about manifesting something and start to worry or the words ‘Be careful what you wish for’ come to mind, ask yourself, ‘What are my fears around this? What am I worried might happen if I manifest this goal?’ and write it all down.
Getting it out of your head and onto paper is very powerful and you can also burn your list of fears too and ask for them to be released from you. You might like to try my special full moon releasing ceremony to super-charge this process.
So there are three ways for your to start bringing your subconscious ‘stuff’ out into the shiny light of your awareness. This is powerful work and it helps to adopt a playful approach to it.
Your next steps.
Want to know more about how you could dive deeper into this to refine your manifesting capabilities and dissolve the old, subconscious patterns that have been holding you back? Click here to access my calendar and schedule a time for us to have an initial exploratory conversation about working with me in my private coaching practice.
Want to be part of a community of like-minded women who are creating their own versions of an unbound life? Click here to join my free Facebook Group – Unbound Living.
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