The 7 signs you’re an Unbound Woman

Are you an Unbound Woman? Well, if you crave freedom beyond all else and you’ve been consciously unbinding yourself from the old, restrictive enchantments you were brought up with, then the chances are you are. 

In fact, you’ve most likely felt like Gulliver for much of your life, tied down by a whole load of lilliputian rules and stories and beliefs. The desire to break free of those ties is strong. Can you feel it?

 

Tweet: 'When you recognise and embody your true nature as an unbound woman, you access an unlimited source of power within you.' #unboundwoman http://bit.ly/2BkKr0H @NicolaHumberAnd when you recognise and embody your true unbound nature, you access an unlimited source of power within you.

But, the very nature of the Unbound Woman means that she can be tricksy to define. (Because, of course, she’s not bound by traditional labels or expectations). However, there are some very clear (and often uncomfortable) signs that show you are, or are becoming, an Unbound Woman.

1) The unexpected guilt of having a freedom schedule

Being is not celebrated in our culture. Doing is. So having an excess of ‘free’ time can feel decidedly unusual and somewhat alienating.

‘Surely I should be doing something?’

‘Surely I should be working harder?’

These are the kind of questions the Unbound Woman might find herself pondering upon. Because she has consciously created a life where it’s not all go, go, go. She desires time and space and that’s exactly what she’s given herself.

But a part of her can feel guilty about this.

It’s the same guilt you might feel if you were playing hooky from school or taking a sick day from work. You see everyone else rushing around doing lots of ‘stuff’ (most of which they clearly don’t enjoy) whereas you are wandering through the park, appreciating the warmth of the sun on your skin and experiencing the stunning richness of each moment.

‘Hmmm, surely this can’t be right?’ You might think to yourself.

But it IS. Like I said, you consciously created this. The Unbound Woman needs time and space to expand, to tune into new insights and ways of being.

Remind yourself of this. You’re blazing a trail and creating a brand new normal, both for yourself and for all the other women who will be inspired by you (and they will).

2) Feeling isolated

The uncomfortable truth is that very few people will ‘get’ the Unbound Woman. Her way of being in the world does not compute for the majority of folks. This means she can feel isolated and freaky (in a ‘Do I actually belong on this planet?’ kinda way).

And this is when doubts can arise. Because we like to be one of the tribe. In fact, our survival used to depend on it.

You might find that even those close to you, your family and friends, can have a hard time understanding what you actually do, how you make your money and how you spend your time.

So it’s vital to make sure you have people around you who DO get you. The Unbound Woman needs mentors, guides and friends who are on the same path. She needs to be surrounded by other trail-blazing, freedom-seekers.

So, gather your people and call in your tribe, because when you allow yourself to be fully seen, heard and understood, it’s like floating in a warm ocean; you feel beautifully buoyant, completely supported and free to move however you choose.

3) There are no words 

For the Unbound Woman trying to explain what she brings to the world is a challenge in itself.

She has SO much to offer, countless skills, a wealth of experience and a subtlety that can’t be summed up by mere language.

And this can be immensely frustrating.

People ask her ‘What do you do?’ and her heart sinks. The Unbound Woman does NOT have a 15-second elevator pitch.

We can all reel off the various skills we’ve acquired over the years:

‘I’m Nicola and I’m an author, coach, hypnotherapist, emotional freedom technique and matrix reimprinting practitioner, therapist, energy worker’.

They’re simply labels (and quite the mouthful!)

You can even try to put into words who you help and how:

‘I help women who’ve made the bold and beautiful decision to start their own businesses to uncover and release any old, subconscious blocks, so they can be their fullest, most brilliant, unbound selves (and get well paid for it).’

But still it doesn’t quite communicate the REAL power of what you bring to the world.

What you do and who you are in the world is limitless, luminous and multi-faceted. So it’s no wonder you’ve been struggling with the traditional ways of sharing your business.

You have to let go of the ‘normal’ advice and invoke your power as an Unbound Woman. When you do that and when you trust that whatever you say or write will have a magical, magnetic energy (because it will), you’ll attract your people to you in the most unexpected ways.

4) Your attitude to money can trigger others

The Unbound Woman is very aware of the energetic nature of money. She IS abundance and she chooses to experience this quality in all areas of her life – love, health AND money.

She’s done the work on her own money stuff – the deeply engrained stories she was brought up to believe. She’s cleared a lot of shiz about her ability to allow money into her life and consequently she doesn’t play by the old, limiting rules.

She knows the value of what she brings to the world and she charges accordingly.

She doesn’t want to work all the hours. She chooses to be well paid for what she does. And that’s how she’s set herself up.

Consequently people can get triggered by her attitude to money and her ability to create unbound wealth. Because most people haven’t done the same amount of work when it comes to their money stuff.

This means that as you expand into your most abundant, Unbound Self, you may well attract criticism and downright vitriol from other people about your prices and your chosen lifestyle. This is a drag.

But it’s okay. Because YOUR people will recognise the immense value you bring and will be more than happy to pay you accordingly.

5) The need to make choices and figuring out what you actually want

This might not seem like a big challenge. I mean, heck, we all make countless choices every day. It’s no drama.

But the Unbound Woman is continually making BIG choices.

How do I truly want to live my life?

Who do I truly want to spend my time with?

Where do I truly want to live right now?

Most people cling to the familiar, living their lives doing the same thing day in, day out, year in, year out. This makes life eminently easier.

When there are no limits, choices have to be made and the Unbound Woman questions EVERYTHING.

She’s continually asking herself ‘What do I really want?’ And tuning into her true desires. This can lead her in unexpected (and unapproved of) directions.

It also means she can end up leaving loved ones behind.

This can be deeply uncomfortable. The Unbound Woman is committed to taking radical personal responsibility for every single area of her life. She does not shy away from difficult decisions.

So, yes, figuring out what you want and actually making choices based on that can be challenging, but it also allows you to be the magnificent being that you truly are. Worth the discomfort? I think so.

6) Holding the paradox

The Unbound Woman recognises and accepts that life is inherently paradoxical. She has learned that she is able to hold two seemingly opposing ideas at the same time. And, more importantly, she has given herself permission to do so.

Whereas the Inner Good Girl likes to have everything cut and dried, black and white, with clear, unwavering opinions, the Unbound Woman allows herself to change her mind, to move fluidly from one point of view to another and to contradict herself, sometimes within the same sentence.

And of course, this has its challenges. Some will judge her as flaky, muddled or crazy, but that’s because they’re not able to recognise the paradoxes that lie within them, the paradoxes that lie within all of us.

The Unbound Woman does.

And she is.

A paradox.

As an Unbound Woman you see that any ideas of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are an illusion. So you don’t get to sit back, comfortably on the ‘I’m right’ train. You have to continually tune into what feels good for you right now. And then carve your unique path accordingly.

7) Sitting in the void

The Unbound Woman has to learn how to sit in the void, the place of not knowing, the in-between.

Whilst the rest of the world dashes around, desperately trying to fill every last space in the day with doing, the Unbound Woman allows herself to be.

Over the years she has found herself in the void time and time again. And although it can feel deeply uncomfortable to reside there (because the urge to do, to figure it out and move forward is strong within all of us), she has recognised that the void is a hugely creative space.

In Gestalt therapy it’s called the Fertile Void, the place we come back to after action, the place we rest before setting off into another cycle of doing.

It’s the place where ideas begin to form and take seed. It can feel muddy and dark and damp.

And often we long to skip merrily past the void.

Because not knowing what comes next is terrifying. So we pick something, anything and go with it.

But as an Unbound Woman you develop a tolerance for sitting here. And as time goes on and you experience the cycle over and over again, you begin to relish the limitless unknowingness of the void.

Recognise yourself here? If you want to step into your FULL power as an Unbound Woman, click here to access my free Meeting Your Unbound Self Visualisation now.

Want to find out more about living unbound? Then get yourself a copy of my latest book, UNBOUND. A Guide to walking the unbound path and becoming your fullest, freest, most magnificent self.

And if this article has resonated with you, click the share button to share with other Unbound Women like you.

24 comments

  1. Wow. This hits home. Currently at the ‘fertile void’. It was useful to learn that and reframe it that way. See that time as a chance to draft your life and craft your choices rather than to get demotivated and depressed. Thank you

    1. I’m so glad this resonated Marie. The fertile void is absolutely an important part of the cycle – both for your own wellbeing and the creative process.

  2. Hi, wow this really resonated with me right now and I felt as if I was reading about myself. It is great article and maybe realize its okay to be an unbound woman and its something that I’ve just become over the past couple of weeks. I was wondering whether I was just being lazy but now realize I’m not its just part of me moving into the person I want to be and am becoming. That person who is just being, loving the free time I’m currently having and creating more of it for myself so I can experience more of life and enjoy it and it feels so good. It feels as if I’m taking my life back. Thank you for sharing this insightful article. I enjoyed reading it.

  3. That’s incredible you just put my feelings into words. Struggling to find my tribe. As no one except us here as I know feels this way thank you..

    1. I’m so pleased you recognised yourself here Rachel. It’s not easy when you feel like no-one else gets you. Know you are not alone.

  4. Wow 😮 this is me ☝️ every single word.
    I am the majorly of the time in such a peaceful yet alone place, and I feel as if the human in me then rules for a moment and sends me back into a different energy field.

  5. Yes! I have felt this since I can remember… We are the natural process of being. It is societal expectations that detour us from yourself. I have found that just being is enough to remind others of themselves also. That alone eases the isolative feeling for me.

  6. I have felt this, I know ive been wanting to be free from the so called norms of living, i aslo know love for life is better than living for rent… weird but true,, I will be the butterfly soon, my wings are peaking..lol thankyou for this!!

  7. This is definitely me. I do not feel guilt. I love my free time and solitude, and I have definitely been put in the “odd or crazy category”, even by those women and men who claim to aspire to these things. I do feel it is very important and I need help to turn that into money now. THRats my one last and only blocker. I have had no trouble making a decision and sticking it through however.

  8. I am that I am. I truly believe we all, men and women alike, are called to something much bigger and greater than we ever allow ourselves to imagine. Only when those that find the courage, yes courage, within themselves to listen to our “selves”, only then will we become whatever happiness means to us. Happiness finding is a moment to moment endeavor. We struggle with what we “know to be right”, and we struggle with what we know to be right. It’s finding a way that works, a way that melds the two into our own belief system, that will validate our happiness for us. Only then will we discover that we’ve never been unhappy. Fear manifests itself daily. But we know how to overcome or accept that fear. We just have to listen and listen and listen some more…. Then do. Do the only thing we’ve ever been “meant” to do. Be us again, for the first time, and embrace that that is okay and always has been.

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