Self-esteem

The Clarity Myth

The Clarity MythA big part of my work as a Holistic Money Coach is to call time on the unhelpful stories I hear my clients telling themselves.

By ‘story’, I mean those limiting beliefs that run through your mind like an old, well-rehearsed script.  Often they’re so familiar, they go un-noticed.

The other day I heard one that I hadn’t thought of as a story before.  I had always accepted this statement as a genuine ‘thing‘ that could get in the way of creating a successful business.

But I heard someone say, ‘I’m so stuck. I just can’t move forwards because I’m so lacking in clarity right now’ and I had a realisation – this is just another story we use to keep ourselves small.

Clarity seems like a BIG thing in business and life.  Everyone’s looking for clarity, waiting for the moment when the penny finally drops and they get the crystal-clear vision of what they’re meant to be doing.

Many coaching programmes make the tantalising offer that they will help you to get clarity (I’ve certainly used this as part of my offerings).

But, as I listened to this woman talking about how her lack of clarity had been holding her back, I realised that I’ve never really had clarity in my business, or my life.

Yes, I get moments when things seem clear, a new direction I want to move in, a new product I want to create, but these are just glimpses.  Within days, hours, often moments, I’m questioning my new idea, doubting myself and everything goes foggy again.

And this used to keep me stuck.

I would think that an idea wasn’t good enough, or wasn’t what I ‘should’ be doing because I didn’t have 100% clarity.  I was waiting for my ‘Road to Damascus’ moment, thinking that I’d know when it was ‘right’.

But this never came.

Because life really isn’t like that.

Life is complicated and gloriously confusing.  We have endless possibilities and choices, so the likelihood of us getting absolute clarity on the best way forward is pretty darn unlikely (if not impossible).

But that’s not a reason to stay stuck and do nothing at all!

The idea that you need to be ‘clear’ is just another perfectionist stick we can use to beat ourselves with.

When I decided to trust that my glimpsed ideas and momentary light-bulb moments were good enough, I freed myself up to take action, move forward and create income.

And I invite you to do the same.

Stop telling yourself, ‘I can’t take action until I have clarity’ – it’s just an unhelpful story.

Instead choose to tell yourself, ‘I’m clear in this moment and that’s enough.’

And it is enough.

And you are enough (even without absolute clarity).

Let’s take a deep breath and embrace the glorious, muddled confusion of life together.

Your next step. Want to discover some super-powerful ways to create the abundant life you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-Day Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

 

A tapping routine to move beyond your comfort zone

Comfort ZoneWe all know this right?

Everything you dream of lies beyond your comfort zone.

When you challenge yourself to move out of that place which feels safe and super-comfortable, magic happens.

And I’m hearing from a lot of women in my community right now who are doing just that – stepping up and out of their comfort zones.

Maybe you’re one of them? Or you’re thinking about it?

Perhaps you know that you need to stretch yourself to reach your goals and dreams, but something is holding you back?

It’s so easy to say that everything you desire lies beyond your comfort zone, but it’s another thing completely to make the leap and actually do it.

Often just thinking about taking a step beyond what feels comfortable can bring up fear, anxiety, doubt, physical symptoms and those pesky limiting beliefs (‘Can I really do this?’)

That’s why I’ve created a tapping video specifically to support you if you’re moving out of your comfort zone right now.

Tapping is my go-to tool for supporting both myself and my clients.

You can watch the video below.

I would love to know what step you’re taking out of your comfort zone right now, so make sure you comment below and share with me.

I am SO saluting your step into the rich zone!

Nicola x

Your next step. Want to discover more ways to create the rich life you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

Tapping into your intuition

Tapping into your intuitionDo you ever get frustrated with advice like, ‘Listen to your inner voice’, ‘Tune into your intuition’ or ‘You have all the answers you need right there within you’?

I ask because I know I used to get incredibly frustrated when I heard stuff like this.  At the time I was stressed out in my business, overwhelmed with the huge amount of information ‘out there’ and totally out of touch with my intuition.

Whenever a coach or mentor encouraged me to ‘Tune into my wise inner voice’, I would feel like screaming, ‘Arrgh, just give me the answer!  Tell me what steps to follow.  I’m too confused and exhausted to tune into anything right now.’

At the time I was trying to take in too much information.  I was trying to find the ‘right way’ to create success in my business when the truth is there is no ‘one right way’.

It’s only when I gave myself permission to switch off from all the noise in the online world, to stop listening to every possible webinar I could, to step back, slow down and get quiet, that I began to finally hear, listen to and trust my inner voice.

I realised that most of the big decisions I’d made in my life had come from my intuition.  Sometimes it had taken me a while to hear what it was trying to tell me but whenever I did, the decision felt like a good one.

Over the past year I’ve been more open to my intuition, I’ve asked it questions and I’ve followed the answers.  And it hasn’t failed me.

By listening to that wise inner voice within me, I’ve made huge shifts in my business, I’ve  created more income and attracted more opportunities.

But I know it isn’t always easy.   Like I said, I’ve been there!  (And sometimes I still find myself feeling confused and overwhelmed).

So, I’ve created an EFT routine specifically designed to help you tune into your intuition.  You can watch the video below, tap along and take some time to listen to your inner voice.


How was that?  Pay special attention to any ideas or insights that come to you after watching the video.

Maybe your answer will come immediately or over the next few hours or days.  Listen out for it.

And, as always, I would LOVE to hear about your experience of tapping along.  Comment below to share any insights or answers that came to you.

Your next step. Want to discover more super-powerful ways to create the abundant life you truly desire? Click here to join my free Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get started right away.

A tapping routine to release limiting money beliefs

A tapping routine to release limiting money beliefsDo you ever find yourself really wanting to achieve something, but that pesky, doubting voice in the back of your mind keeps saying you can’t do it?

Maybe you set yourself a juicy financial goal and then the nagging doubts set in, so you feel disheartened and lose belief that you can reach it?

When this happens, its a sign that limiting beliefs are kicking in.

Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained thought patterns that prevent you from being, doing and having what you truly desire.  They’re very often established in childhood and although they might keep you safe, they will also keep you small and stop you from living to your fullest potential.

Limiting beliefs squash your sense of possibility.

The good news is that you can do something to release these old, restrictive thought patterns and create a new, more resourceful belief system.

My go-to tool for shifting limiting beliefs is Tapping or EFT(Emotional Freedom Technique).  I use it all the time, both personally and with my clients.  It’s simple to use and very effective.

In the video below I guide you through a short tapping routine designed to help you shift some of the most common limiting beliefs about money and wealth.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve never used tapping before, just take a look at the video and tap along (you can’t get it wrong!).

You can use this same process to tap away any other limiting beliefs that you may be experiencing right now.  Just use words that specifically describe what’s coming up for you as you tap round the different points.

And, of course, feel free to comment below with any questions you have or shifts you experienced whilst tapping for yourself.

Your next step. Want to learn some super-powerful ways to create the income you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-Day Money Master Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

Are you lacking in ‘receive-ability’?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about receive-ability (i.e. being open to receive).

It’s one of the things that comes up time and time again with my clients.

When we’re open to receive, money and good stuff can flow to us easily and in abundance.  When we constrict and close ourselves off, the flow of cash (and good stuff) makes like a measly trickle.

So let me ask you this question, are you preventing yourself from receiving right now?

I’m sure you’re saying, ‘Hell, no!’, but I wonder if you recognise any of these examples of being closed off?

  • Deflecting compliments and positive feedback (‘What, this old thing?’)
  • Not being clear and open about what you have to offer to potential clients.
  • Procrastinating on your website, branding, logo (‘But surely I need all of that in place before taking on clients?’  Er, no.  Just do it!)
  • Knowing exactly where you want to go for dinner, but saying ‘I don’t mind’, when your partner/friend asks you for your preference.
  • Doing endless programmes, ecourses and training, rather than actually taking action in your business.
  • Hiding behind your laptop. (aka keeping yourself super-busy on social media, rather than connecting with potential paying clients.)
  • Offering discounts to potential clients before they’ve even questioned your prices.
  • Accepting ‘less than’ in any area of your life.

Now the reason I’m able to write this list of non-receivability so easily is because I’ve done all of the above in the past (and continue to do so at times!)

Fortunately, I’m much more aware of these behaviours now and I know that when I do any of the above, I’m closing myself down – both to receiving and being my fullest, brightest, most brilliant self.

And, quite frankly, I see this s**t happening all the time!  Seriously, it’s time to stop playing small and open yourself up to the unbounded possibilities available to you.

Stop saying, ‘I don’t mind’ or ‘It’s nothing really’, or ‘I’m not sure’.

Make a decision to get in the game.

Show willing to the Universe.

Be open.

Choose to accept all that’s on offer to you.

State what you need, want, desire.

Side note: If you find that difficult, it’s okay.  Often when we’ve spent years saying, ‘I don’t mind’, we lose track of our true desires.  Just commit to making a decision, one way or another, and stick with that.  It will take you closer to what you really want and send a message to yourself that you’re open to getting your needs and desires met.

Make an offer.

Be open.

Say, ‘Yes’ to opportunities (especially if they scare you).

Affirm to yourself now (and often) ‘I am open to receive’.

And see how your life begins to shift.

Like magic.

Here’s to super-charging your receive-ability!

Nicola x

Your next step. Want to receive more super-powerful tips on how to create the deliciously abundant life you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

Is ‘just enough’ really enough for you?

Just enough Can I ask you a question?  When you think about how much income you want to generate each month, how do you come up with a figure?

Do you allow yourself to dream big?

Do you let go of limitations and imagine earning more than ever before?

Can you come up with a figure that truly excites you?

Or do you simply consider your monthly outgoings, add a bit on and there’s your income goal?

For many women, it’s the latter (and I know because I SO used to do this).

It’s something that comes up often when I’m working with my clients.  As soon as I ask them to create an income goal, they start with how much they ‘need’, rather than how much they DESIRE.

The thing is, as soon as you confine yourself to how much you ‘need’, you limit yourself.  Your subconscious mind shuts down to big, expansive thinking.

And you end up with exactly what you’ve chosen to focus on – just enough to meet your needs.  (Doesn’t feel very exciting,  loving or generous does it?)

So, why do many women in particular tend to have this ‘just enough’ mentality?

Often it’s because of a limiting belief that ‘It’s greedy to want more’, ‘Who am I to want more?’, or ‘I don’t deserve more than enough’.

Many of us have grown up in families where earning ‘just enough’ was the norm, so we’ve been unconsciously conditioned to believe that’s all that’s available to us.

And so we follow that pattern.  We limit our thinking.  And we keep ourselves small.

That’s why I am asking you this question now – Is ‘just enough’ REALLY enough for you?

What would it be like to break out of that thinking of scarcity and lack?

What would it be like to expand your sense of possibility and open yourself up to receive more?

Well, let me challenge you – as we move into a new month, create an income goal that truly excites you.

For now, don’t worry about how you’re going to achieve it, simply pick a figure that lights you up.

Imagine that it’s the last day of next month and you’ve achieved your goal.  How are you choosing to celebrate?

Write your figure down daily.

Say it out loud.

Take inspired action.

Have fun with your goal.

See it as a game.

Play with it.

Affirm to yourself, ‘I deserve to receive abundantly’.

As you do this, you are expanding your sense of what’s possible for you.

Your subconscious mind will be alert to opportunities that present themselves to you.

You are stepping into a place of MORE.

How does that feel?

Here’s to much, MUCH more than enough.

Nicola x

Your next step. Want more  super-powerful tips about how to create the income you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free Money Mastery 7-Day Kickstarter Challenge and get started right away.

Learning from a sore throat (and how I am making a declaration of intent).

Learning from a sore throatAs I write this my first ever money mastery live event is taking place in 4 days….and I have a sore throat, hacking cough and seriously croaky voice.

It’s interesting because my throat does seem to be a weak spot in my body.  If I get a cold, it generally results in a cough that lasts for days (if not weeks) afterwards.  (As you can imagine, coughing fits are not ideal when using hypnotherapy or tapping with a client).

So, I’m sure my body is trying to tell me something right now.  It seems too much of a coincidence for me to develop a cough right before an event where I’m going to be speaking about a subject I’m truly passionate about.

My experience of working with clients is that there’s generally an underlying emotional reason for any physical symptom.

That’s why I took some time to journal on it this morning.  I wanted to uncover the meaning behind my sore throat and release any blocked emotion.

I wrote about the constriction I felt, the irritation, the discomfort and the fear of coughing and spluttering at a crucial time.

And as the words came, I thought back to a conversation I had with my coach a couple of weeks ago.  We were talking about how I could be more visible in my business and as we were speaking she commented on the clarity of my words.

This stopped me short, as I realised I had always thought of myself as someone who didn’t express herself very clearly.  I often feel clumsy with my words.

So in the past I’ve held back from expressing myself as there’s been a nagging voice in my head saying, ‘Nicola, who would want to listen to you?  You don’t have the right words.  You just don’t make sense!’

And here I was receiving feedback that my words had clarity.

It prompted me to remember a conversation a few days beforehand when someone else had complimented me on communicating so clearly.  (I had promptly dismissed the compliment as nonsense of course).

It’s interesting how we do this eh?  We often deflect positive feedback and embrace the negative.

As I journalled this morning, I realised that the constriction in my throat was coming from that part of me that feels I should stay small, be quiet, be safe.

That small part of me feels so uncomfortable about hosting a live event that it has manifested a sore throat and hacking cough.

It all made sense.  I could see the connection and although my sore throat hasn’t magically disappeared (yet),  I felt a sense of relief.

Then I did some rounds of tapping to release the emotional blockage.

‘Even though I have this constriction in my throat and I can’t get my words out, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.’

‘Even though I have this irritating cough, this fear in my throat, and it’s keeping me small, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.’

‘Even though I have this fear and doubt in my throat and I’m scared I can’t find the right words, I choose to release that fear now.  I recognise that I express myself clearly, with words that are compelling and attractive, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.’

I will keep tapping over the next few days and I’m sure my throat will clear.

Writing these words and sharing them with you is a form of healing as well.  (Even though I still don’t feel I’m expressing myself as clearly as I would like to – that pesky inner critic!)

I’m sharing this with you in case you have a fear that your words are sometimes clumsy, or you hold back from expressing yourself because you worry about how you might be received.

I want you to know, I get it.

I want to hear you.

I want to hear ALL of you.

And I invite you to join me in a declaration of intent: I choose to express myself freely and fully.

Say it out loud, often.

Now, where are those cough sweets?  I am SO ready to rock it out on Saturday!

 

50 Ways to Raise Your Frequency and Keep Your Vibe High

1. Smile (at yourself, at others, at life)
2. Take 3 deep belly breaths and know that all is well
3. Go for a walk – move your body, shift your mood
4. Dance (bonus points for grabbing someone else to dance with)
5.  Tap (use Emotional Freedom Technique to release any limiting emotions)
6. Celebrate
7. Phone a friend
8. Give (your time, your money, your love)
9. Bring a happy memory to mind and bathe in the nostalgia
10. Spend time in nature
11. Have a clear out (of your handbag, kitchen cupboards, wardrobe or go for it and do the whole house)
12. Eat some delicious, nourishing food
13. Lavish your body with attention (because it really deserves it)
14. Have a shower and let negative emotions wash away
15. Listen to an uplifting tune
16. Step (or leap) out of your comfort zone
17. Make conversation with a stranger
18. Get a good night’s sleep
19. Laugh
20. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘I love you’??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
21. Shift your perception
22. Light a candle
23. Spend time by the sea
24. Dress up
25. Kiss
26. Walk barefoot on the grass and soak up the earth’s energy
27. Have a massage
28. Meditate (a few minutes will do)
29. Offer to help others
30. Look through old photos of good times
31. Create (write, draw, shape, bake, colour-in, make)
32. Watch a feel-good film using MovieTube Apk
33. Cry
34. Go to an art gallery
Take care of yourself35. Soak in the bath
26. Get naked
37. Write a love letter to your beau
38. Write a love letter to yourself
39.  Catch up with old friends
40. Make some new friends
41.Curl up and read a book
42. Have some quiet time
43. Be grateful for all the beauty in your life (because there is beauty there)
44. Plan a surprise
45. Watch a fireBonfire
46. Burn some incense
47. Connect – with others, with yourself, with Spirit
48. Stretch (your body, your mind or both)
49. Travel (near or far)
50.  Make love

 

Why it pays to look backwards

Why it pays to look backwardsGenerally in life we’re encouraged to look forwards.

Plan for the future.

Set goals.

Visualise how you want to be.

All of this helps to give us direction and stay focused (and I’m all for that).

BUT when we’re constantly looking to the future, we can lose sight of everything we’ve achieved so far.

Our eyes are always on the road ahead, thinking about the next goal, and we forget to appreciate what we have already created around us.

I’m holding my hands up here as a recovering eyes-forward, goal-setting junkie!

Since childhood, I’ve always been striving to achieve, constantly thinking about the next qualification, the next job, the next personal goal to work towards.

Whenever I achieved something, I didn’t give myself any time to acknowledge and appreciate it.  I immediately started to think about what was next.

When I worked in finance, I was the first person in my company to pass a high-level investment exam.  It was blooming hard work and took months of study.  But as soon as I found out I had passed, I started to plan what qualification to work towards next.  Crazy!

And do you know what?  It’s exhausting when your eyes are constantly fixed on the road ahead.

You never feel satisfied with where you are.

It always feels like there is something missing.

This comes up time and time again with my clients.  Very often, unless I specifically ask them to acknowledge (and celebrate) what they’ve achieved so far, they’ll instead focus on what’s still to do, beating themselves up about not being ‘there’ yet.

Why is this important?

Well, when you feel exhausted, dissatisfied and under pressure to keep moving, it’s not a great place to create wealth (of any kind) from.

Also, when we’re not appreciating all of the glorious-ness that we’ve achieved so far, we’re sending a pretty ungrateful message to the Universe.  ‘Sorry, but that’s quite enough.  I need more!’

So, as we move towards the end of the year, I want to encourage you to move into a place of appreciation.

Give yourself some time to write down everything you have achieved this year so far.

Really go to town and include business and personal achievements, big and small.

Allow yourself to feel good about everything you have created this year.

And celebrate it!

Take a breath, look back and make some space for appreciation.

I promise this will lift you up.

Nicola x

 

Relax! You don’t have to panic (it’s only the end of the year)

Girl jumps to the New Year 2015Is it just me, or are you feeling just a little irked with all of those, ‘It’s nearly the end of the year!’, blogs and social media posts that are appearing right now?

It seems like every time I go online, I am either receiving an email or someone on Facebook is letting me know how many weeks there are until the end of 2014 and advising me that ‘there’s still time to make it happen and reach my goals’.

I completely get the idea behind all of this.   Most of us set some kind of goals at the beginning of each year and as we approach December,  it’s natural to look back and review how we’ve done.

It’s just that the underlying tone of some of these blogs, articles and posts, seems to be, ‘Come on, you need to push, hustle, strive your way to the end of the year!’

And do you know what?  I hold my hands up here, because I have written this kind of content before too. 

But it’s not sitting comfortably with me right now.

Because I am perfectly aware of how many weeks there are left in the year.

I am also perfectly aware that there is ‘still time’ to reach my goals.

I am aware of this because there is ALWAYS enough time.

Newsflash: The world is not going to end on 31st December 2014.

You don’t have to panic.  You don’t have to start a mad dash to get it all done.  You don’t have to feel under pressure to ‘reach your goals’ by new year’s eve.

You can choose to work in a way that feels kind to you.

You can choose to take it easy.

You can choose to create new goals.

You can choose to have no goals.

You can choose to have your business year end in March, July or freaking October if you like.

I am not criticising anyone here.  I accept that it can be motivational to feel that you have a specific deadline to reach your goals.

If it feels expansive and exciting for you to have a big push to the end of 2014, go for it (I am SO cheering you on!)

But if you’re beginning to feel pressurised and panicky, like you ‘should’ be working your butt off, or beating yourself up that you haven’t done everything you wanted to this year, give yourself a break.

Give yourself permission to slow down.

Give yourself permission to have fun (it is the time of year for it, after all!)

Give yourself permission to change direction.

Give yourself permission to reflect.

You create your own deadlines (and you can totally disregard them, if you like.)

You make your own rules.

And your business, your goals, your clients, social media, the whole shebang will still be here on 1st January 2015.

So, just do what feels good for you right now, okay?

Nicola x