How can I create an abundant mindset without overspending?

How can I create an abundant mindset without overspending_Recently I received this juicy question from Cat:

We hear a lot about the psychology of abundance and scarcity. But how do you establish an abundant mindset without overspending?  Although the scarcity mindset of “I can’t afford that,” is fear-based, it does stop you spending what you don’t have. 

Is there a risk that with the mindset of “I can afford it. Money flows to me. I am abundant,” a person might get themselves into debt?’

Great question!  And one I’ve done a lot of thinking about over the past few years as a money mindset mentor, so here are my three steps to create an abundant mindset without having to overspend.

1. Appreciate all the ways you’re abundant right now

Creating an abundant mindset is a question of focus.  Whether you earn £10k or £10million a year, we can all slip into a place of ‘there’s not enough’.  (Believe me, even the wealthiest people can still have a scarcity mindset).

When you focus on scarcity, you end up in resistance (i.e. fear, panic, frustration, dissatisfaction) and your point of attraction lowers.

Your aim is to move from resistance into alignment (joy, satisfaction, gratitude, hopefulness) and a sure-fire way to do this is through appreciation.

Rather than focusing on any ways you feel you don’t have enough right now, choose to turn your attention to the many ways in which you already are abundant.

As a personal example, at the moment I’m working with the affirmation, ‘I always make more than enough money to support myself in the most deliciously abundant ways’.  To make sure this affirmation is working for me, I’m constantly choosing to notice the ways I feel deliciously abundant – things like having lunch in my favourite cafe, getting a monthly massage, meeting a friend for coffee, having time to go for my daily walk, booking my upcoming ski-ing holiday.

As you can see, most of these don’t actually cost much money, but they all make me feel abundant.

Don’t forget to appreciate the things you might be taking for granted.  Each month I pay £750 straight into the joint account I share with Mr H to pay for our mortgage, bills and food.  I recently realised that I hadn’t been appreciating this money.  I just lumped it together as ‘household bills’.

So I’ve now started to consciously give thanks for the things this money allows me to experience – my beautiful home, candle-lit baths, fresh water, friendly neighbours, the food that I enjoy, a wonderful therapy room to see my clients, a space for entertaining friends and family,,,, I could go on and on! And as I do, my sense of abundance grows.

Start now: Take some time and write down all the ways you feel abundant right now.  Don’t hold back – write down everything you can think of, be specific and notice how you start to feel more expansive as you do.

2) Power up your language

As a hypnotherapist, I’m super-aware of how the words you use can affect all areas of your life.

Whenever you use the words, ‘I can’t afford it’, you’re sending a message to yourself and out into the Universe that you’re not in control.  You’re undermining your personal power.

Now, I’m not going to ask you to start saying. ‘I can afford it’ about everything when you feel you can’t.  When you use affirmations that don’t feel true for you, you slip back into a place of resistance, making them completely counter-effective.

What I encourage you to do instead is to use statements such as, ‘I’m choosing not to buy that right now’ or ‘This is not a priority for me at the moment’.  Both of these put you back in a position of power.

If there’s something you really want to buy and you truly feel you can’t afford it, then using a question can feel more expansive, for example, ‘I wonder how I could afford that?’ or ‘What are the ways I could create the money to buy ……?’  Whenever you ask a question, your subconscious mind will go looking for an answer and ideas will begin to flow to you.

‘I can’t afford it’ immediately closes you down.  ‘I wonder how I could afford it?’ opens you up.

Start now: Over the next week, ban yourself from saying ‘I can’t afford it’.  Choose to use more empowering statements or questions and notice how you feel different.

3) Be mindful of your feelings towards debt

In her question, Cat asked whether trying to create an abundant mindset could lead to overspending and getting into debt.  I think there’s generally a lot of misunderstanding about what an ‘abundant mindset’ really is.

Some abundance coaches might encourage you to ‘Just trust that the money will show up’ or say that if you hold onto money, it shows you have a scarcity mindset.

I don’t agree with that.

If you’re spending money and getting into debt to prove you’ve got an abundant mindset, telling yourself that you ‘trust there’s always enough’ when deep-down you’re feeling petrified, then I’m afraid you’re heading for down-town resistance and your chances of attracting more into your life are pretty much zilch.

I know this might sound harsh, but believe me, I’ve been there my friend and it’s NOT the way to go.

Although we use the words, ‘abundant mindset’, true abundance is all about how you FEEL.

And the truth is, many of us feel pretty mixed-up about debt. On one hand, we’re told it’s bad and on the other, we’re offered credit left, right and centre and made to feel it’s obligatory to get a huge mortgage in order to feel like a proper ‘grown-up’

Debt is not inherently bad and it’s not inherently good.  Debt just IS.

When you remove the emotion around debt, you’re free to make empowered decisions.

Now, I’m certainly not saying that it’s a great idea to get into debt so you can buy whatever you want.

BUT if something feels like a priority for you, if you feel that you’ll get a return on your investment (and that can be financially, emotionally, spiritually, energetically…) AND you know you can manage the repayments, then paying for it on credit may be an option for you.

When you’re making a choice about whether to borrow money to pay for something, notice how you feel about it.  Whatever you’re telling yourself consciously, your emotions will always let you know whether you’re closer to resistance or alignment.

Start now: Take some time to journal on your current feelings and beliefs around debt.  Do you see ‘debt’ as inherently bad?  What have your personal experiences been around debt? Have they left you feeling disempowered?  Empty all of your thoughts and feelings down onto the page.  Once you’ve done that, you’ll feel clearer moving forwards and able to make more empowered choices.

So, that’s my answer to Cat’s question- it is possible to create an abundant mindset without overspending.  You just need to make a few shifts along the way.

Your next step.  Ready to discover even more ways to create the abundant life you TRULY desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-day Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

 

The 20 must-read books that will super-charge your wealth-creating potential in 2016

The 20 must-read books that will super-charge your wealth-creating potential in 2016Until recently I ran The Wealth Consciousness Bookclub on Facebook – an online space where women could come together and focus on a different abundance-enhancing book each month.

At the beginning of this year, I made the decision to close the group after as my attention moves to writing my own book in 2016.   (Watch out for ‘Heal Your Inner Good Girl’ when it’s published in the Summer!)

All-in-all we read 14 mind-expanding books in The Wealth Consciousness Bookclub and there are some gems that I never got around to sharing.  So, as I close this special online space, I wanted to share a list of the 20 must-read books that will give you wealth-creating super-powers this year.

This is the only reading list you’ll ever need to create a richer life.

In no particular order, here we go!

1) The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
Thought-provoking insights into the essence of prosperity. Lynne Twist demonstrates how we can replace feelings of scarcity, guilt, and burden with experiences of sufficiency, freedom, and purpose.

2) The Life Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo
A super-simple, effective way to banish clutter FOREVER. Clear out the old to make space for the new to flow in!

3) Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny
5 steps to letting go of self-sabotage and creating the richer life you deserve (because you really do!)

4) The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder
A compact set of simple universal laws for assuring success. This book is truly magical!

5) The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
6 habits that will transform your life before 8am. Learn how to wake up each day with energy, motivation and focus.

6) The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
Conquer your hidden fears and take your life to the next level. This book is just brilliant! Read it and eliminate the barriers to success.

7) The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles
A classic guide to creating wealth through the Law of Attraction.

8) The Prosperous Heart by Julia Cameron
A twelve-week programme for using practical financial tools, in partnership with your creative heart and soul, to guide you to prosperity in all areas of your life. If you loved The Artist’s Way, you’ll LOVE this.

9) The Wealth Chef by Ann Wilson
A simple, step-by-step guide to creating true financial freedom.

10) Ask and it is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks
Learn how to manifest your desires so that you’re living the joyous and fulfilling life you deserve. Contains transformational processes that will help you go with the positive flow of life.

11) Money. A Love Story by Kate Northrup
Create a new, loving relationship with money. Kate presents a guide to untangling any financial woes, so you can create the life you truly want.

12) The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson
Discover the spiritual principles that will help you overcome financial stress and unleash the divine power of abundance.

13) Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T Harv Ecker
Discover the secrets of the truly wealthy, so you can master the inner game of wealth.

14) Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
A true classic! Napoleon Hill researched more than forty millionaires to find out what made them the people that they were. In this book he imparts that knowledge to you, so you can follow their lead.

15) Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas
Release your money blocks and learn how to live a first-class life with the fabulous, down-to-earth Denise Duffield-Thomas.

16) The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte
Turns the process of goal-setting on its head so you can create goals with SOUL and forge substantial life changes.

17) I Can Make You Rich by Paul McKenna
Discover proven psychological techniques to help you install a rich mindset inside yourself.

18) Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T Kiyosaki
Learn what the rich teach their kids about money, that the poor and middle-class do not. Kiyosaki explodes money myths left, right and centre in this fascinating book.

19) Tapping Into Wealth by Margaret M Lynch
Learn how to use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to help you clear the path to making more money.

20) Money. Master the Game by Tony Robbins
A 7-step blueprint to creating financial freedom. If you’re ready to take your financial knowledge further, then this book is for you.

So, there you have it – the 20 books that will give you wealth-creating super-powers!  Remember though, you need to IMPLEMENT and TAKE ACTION to see the results you desire.

Your next step. Want to discover some super-potent ways to create the deliciously abundant life you TRULY desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge.

Danger! Danger! Are you setting good girl goals?

Danger! Danger!Are you setting good girl goals_Can I tell you a secret? I have a love-hate relationship with goals.

As a coach and hypnotherapist, I know they’re vital to create clarity, focus and motivation.

BUT they can also feel like a pressure and if you don’t achieve the goals you set for yourself, you can end up feeling like a big, ol’ failure.

So, how can you set goals that inspire rather than make you feel like crap?

The answer is not to fall into the trap of setting what I call ‘good girl goals’.

And what do I mean by ‘good girl goals’?

Well these are goals that you feel you ‘should’ be achieving. They come from your Inner Good Girl – the  part of you that desperately wants to fit in, please others, be seen as doing well and not put her head above the parapet.

How do you know if you’re setting good girl goals?

There are some tell-tale signs to look out for:

  • When you think about your goal, you feel deflated rather than excited.
  • When you consider your ‘Why?’ for setting the goal, the answer is likely to include a ‘should’, ‘must’ or ‘ought to’. I really should be earning that much in my business by now. I ought to be healthier. I must blog more often because everyone else says it’s important.
  • When you focus on how it will be when you achieve your goal, it doesn’t feel like it will add much to your life.
  • The motivation for setting the goal came from comparing yourself to someone else.
  • You’re finding it challenging to start taking action towards your goal.
  • If you achieve a good girl goal, you feel flat rather than amazing. (Anti-climax ahoy!)

Moving towards a good girl goal is a darnright struggle and no fun at all.

When I work with my clients, I help them to tune into their ‘Unbounded Self’ goals – goals that come from a place of expansiveness and possibility, rather than conditioning and limitation.

Although Unbounded Self goals can be challenging (because they tend to be super-juicy), moving towards them is a much more joyful experience.

Here’s a fail-safe way to check whether you’ve set a good girl goal:

1. Pick a specific goal that you’re working towards at the moment.

2. Say the goal to yourself, either out loud or silently in your mind, and notice how you feel in your body. What physical sensations do you feel as you focus on your goal?

3. Do these physical sensations feel expansive or constricting?

You’ll probably be able to tell this straight away, as I’m pretty sure you’re tuned into what feels great and what feels blah. If you’re not sure, focus on something you know you feel good about and notice how that feels in your body, then focus on something you feel icky about and notice how that feels. You can then compare these sensations to those you experience when you think about your goal.

For me, when I think about an Unbounded Self goal, I get an expansive, tug forward from my belly. When I focus on a good girl goal, I get a constricted, feeling in my belly, like it’s shrinking in on itself. You can tell that my belly is my emotional compass, can’t you?

If you find that you’ve set yourself a good girl goal, you can decide whether you want to shift it so it feels more unbound, OR let it go completely.

You’re back in the driving seat!

Btw  It’s fine to feel scared when you’re thinking about a particular goal.  Fear is completely normal when you’re moving out of your comfort zone.  Again you can check in with your body to see whether it’s an expansive, scary-but-good kinda fear or a constrictive, I’m-only-doing-this-because-I-feel-I-should fear.

Moving away from good girl goals and towards unbounded self goals is key to creating the life and business you truly desire.

If you’re ready to create a deliciously abundant life and business and would like to explore how I can help you to do this, let’s talk. Click here to access my diary and book in for a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call.

Here’s to living an unbound life!

Nicola x

My top 3 end-of-year resources and planners

My top 3 end-of-year resources and plannersThe other day a client asked me what tools or planners I use at the end of the year and I thought it would be helpful to share my recommendations with y’all.

I love the energy at this time of year (as I write it’s the 16th December and my Christmas tree lights are a’twinkling).  For me, it’s time to pause, reflect on the last 12 months and set some compelling intentions for the year ahead.

I’ve used various resources to help me do this in the past and these are my top 3 end-of-year power tools (not the electric drill kind you understand, the magically, miraculous, manifesting kind).

1) Leonie Dawson’s Create Your Shining Year Workbooks

To be completely transparent, I’m not using Leonie Dawson’s sh-amazing Life and Biz Leonie Workbookworkbooks this year, BUT I’ve used them for each of the past three years and they have served me extremely well.

What I particularly love about Leonie’s planners is the powerful way she combines reviewing the past year with setting goals for the next.  For me, reflecting on the past twelve months is just as important (if not more so) than planning for the next, so I adore that Leonie guides us so skillfully through this process.

I also love that this year, she’s offering separate workbooks for both Life and Business (previously they were combined), so you can choose to buy either or both.  Fab-u-liscious!

The only reason I’m not using these workbooks this year is that after three years of using them, I can pretty much take myself through the same process.  But if you’re looking for something to lead you through every aspect of reviewing, reflecting, planning and goal-setting for 2016, then these little beauties are for you.

Click here to discover more.

2) Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map

The Desire MapI’ve written about ‘The Desire Map‘ before on the blog and I make no apology for coming back to it again, because quite frankly, this book rocks my world.

Rather than the traditional process of goal-setting, Danielle encourages you to choose Core Desired Feelings which will guide you to set intentions that light you up and feel 100% aligned – goals with soul!

I first worked through The Desire Map process at the end of 2014 and my prime Core Desired Feeling was ‘Unbound’.  This had such a huge impact on my year in 2015 (I wrote about it here) that working through The Desire Map is now firmly established as my non-negotiable end-of-year ritual.

I’ve just chosen a new set of Core Desired Feelings for 2016 – Luminous, Fierce, Deeply Connected and Joy – and I can’t tell you how expansive and full of possibility I feel when I focus on those words.

The Desire Map is for you if you’re tired with traditional goal-setting and yearn for a more soulful process.

Click here for a direct link to ‘The Desire Map’ book and here for Danielle’s website.

3) Amy Palko’s Word Goddess Readings

This has been a new discover for me this year and I’m in love already.

Amy has been on my radar for a while but I’ve never bought one of her Goddess Readings before.

This year I saw one of my friends recommending them on Facebook and instinctively knew that this would be a wonderful addition to my end-of-year rituals.

Amy offers these intuitive readings designed to hook you up with your Goddess for the coming year and also help choose a word as your touchstone, your mantra for the year.

I ordered one for myself and one for my sister as a gift.  When I got mine, I was delighted to see that Durga had stepped forward to be my Goddess for 2016 (she’s been showing up for me in lots of different ways over the past few months and I’m looking forward to embracing her focus and fierce-ness in 2016).

When my sister received hers, she immediately rang me to ask if I’d given Amy any details about her (I hadn’t).  She couldn’t believe that her reading was SO in tune with where she’s at right now and what she wants to experience more of in 2016.

Quite simply, Amy’s Word Goddess Readings are magical!

Click here to discover more (the readings are available until 31st January).

So, there you have it, my top 3 resources as we transition from one year to another.

Here’s to a wonder-full 2016!

Nicola x

7 Powerful Life Lessons from 2015

7 Powerful Life Lessons from 2015As we come to the end of 2015, it’s helpful (and healing) to look back and reflect on how this year has been – and in particular to acknowledge our learnings.

For me this year has been far more transformational than I could ever have imagined (and often uncomfortably so!) In this blog post I’m sharing some BIG lessons that have come through for me during the year, as well as some personal decisions that have impacted on my life in a positive way.

Please note, this is an unashamedly long blog-post, but worth it – I promise!

Lesson No 1 – The gold in the darkness

This year did not go as planned for me at all. After a great start to 2015, by the end of the summer things began to go off track.

  • Business dried up. Even my hypnotherapy practice was struggling and this had always provided a steady income for me.
  • I started to feel as low as I’d done for many years – totally lacking in inspiration and energy.
  • One family challenge after another seemed to come up – including serious health issues.

All of this rocked me and made me question the path I was on.

But even at the darkest of times this year, I tried to hold onto the fact it was all happening for a reason (even though this was super-tough at times).

In the last few months of 2015, I’ve done some profound inner work which I probably would have skirted around for years if everything had been ticking along nicely.

The most challenging of times has truly brought me the greatest of rewards – getting to know and embracing my full self, giving myself the space to see the direction I want to move in and letting go of what wasn’t serving me.

In the darkness we’re forced to recognise and draw on our inner treasures and that’s exactly what’s happened for me over the last few months of 2015.

That’s why I can honestly say that this year has been one of the most transformational I’ve experienced in recent years (which is quite something, as my work is all about transformation).

Over to you: Take some time to reflect on any challenges you’ve experienced this year. What did you learn? Where did they lead you? What was the gold in your darkness?

And if you’re ready to do some super-powerful inner work in the first 3 months of 2016, click here for an invitation to Your Heroine’s Journey.

Lesson No 2 – Choosing a word for the year is more powerful than you imagine

In the past I’d always thought that choosing a word for the year was fun to do, but not hugely meaningful. How wrong I was!

My word for the year has been UNBOUND. I chose this as one of my core desired feelings at UNBOUNDthe end of 2014 when working through ‘The Desire Map‘ by Danielle Laporte (which is highly recommended btw).

Early this year I created this image to sum up what unbound means to me.

I never imagined the huge impact this word would have on me personally and in my business.

It was a big part of the inspiration for me to write my book ‘Heal Your Inner Good Girl’ which is about reconnecting with your Unbounded Self (look out for it in the Spring of 2016!).

When I came up with the concept, I was excited about getting to know my Unbounded Self. After all, this is what my year was all about – letting go of limitations and embracing myself fully.

But when I created a meditation designed to help me connect with my Unbounded Self, I was shocked to discover what she was like.

My Unbounded Self was a dark, powerful, elemental force. At first I couldn’t see her clearly – she was like a whirling energy that felt out of control.

It was actually uncomfortable for me to spend time in her presence. (I’d actually been much more comfortable during the meditation I created to connect with my inner good girl!)

I ended the Unbounded Self meditation sensing that she was full of rage which left me totally confused, until I recognised that she represented the full expression of me – including the heavier, darker emotions that I’d often suppressed in the past.

Of course she was full of rage – I’d rarely allowed myself to express anger. As a 9 on the enneagram, I pretty much do anything I can to avoid conflict. But my Unbounded Self was calling me to acknowledge my rage, my anger, my frustration and to channel this powerful energy.

As I wrote about this for my book, I realised that many women would feel the same. Many of us were told that being angry wasn’t ‘nice’- the message being, we should put up and shut up.

But what happens to all of that anger and rage?

It’s there, bubbling away, and unless we find a way to express it, our anger can become toxic.

So by choosing ‘unbound’ as my word for the year, I’ve connected with a part of myself I’d disowned and in doing that I feel more powerful, more complete, more whole. And it’s taken me in a new direction in the work I’m focusing on with my clients – helping women to express and be their full, unbounded selves.

Over to you: If you haven’t already, choose a word that describes how you want to feel in 2016. Know that it will impact on you in ways you can’t yet imagine.

Lesson No 3 – Get the freakin’ full body massage

Having a monthly massage has been a non-negotiable self-care ritual for me since I did my counselling training a few years ago.

I know I can hold emotional and psychological tension in my body, particularly my shoulders, and my monthly massage makes sure it doesn’t get a chance to build up.

Before this year I’d always opted to have a back, neck and shoulder massage. I knew these were the areas I tended to hold tension and I also hated to have my legs massaged – in fact they always felt so tender and sensitive that I literally wanted to kick any massage therapist who came near them!

But I knew that the areas we resist being pummelled are probably the areas where we need it most (the same goes for inner work – the gold is ALWAYS in the places we don’t want to look).

Our legs are all about the ability to move forward and by neglecting them, I was preventing myself from moving forward freely.

So this year I bit the bullet and told my massage therapist, Dannie, that I was going to try a full body massage. I breathed deeply as she massaged my legs and affirmed to myself, ‘I’m willing to move forward’.

And do you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I expected. In fact, it felt amazing for my whole body to benefit from a massage.

I couldn’t believe that I’d been having half a massage for so long.

Even though it’s painful sometimes when Dannie gets to my legs, I know I’m enjoying a much fuller experience.

Over to you: What are you feeling resistance to at the moment?  Can you find a way to be bold and go there?  How can you make self-care more of a priority in 2016?  Where in your life would you benefit from going all in?  Don’t be satisfied with half measures

Lesson No 4 – Good girl goals don’t work

One of the revelations I’ve had this year is that my Inner Good Girl has been having a far bigger impact on me than I’d previously imagined.

I always knew I had a part of me that wanted me to stay quiet and small, but as I’ve been working on my book I’ve realised that my Inner Good Girl was much more complex than that.

As well as holding me back, she was very often responsible for pushing me forwards.

My Inner Good Girl is the part of me that wants to keep up with others and be seen as successful. And this means she is BIG on goals.

The problem is that the goals my Inner Good Girl pushes me to move towards are very often out of alignment with my true desires. This means it’s blooming hard work to build up the momentum to achieve them.

An example: Earlier this year I thought I’d had a brilliant idea when I decided to set a goal for myself to reach financial freedom by my 45th birthday, at the end of 2016. The inspiration came to me suddenly and initially I was really excited by it.

I’m a quick action-taker so I recorded a video stating my goal and asked others to join me. I knew that by making a public declaration, I’d be more committed to the outcome.

All went well at first – lots of people were interested and wanted to join me. I put a strategy in place and even ran a free financial freedom challenge.

But as I moved into the latter part of the year, I just couldn’t get excited about my financial freedom goal any more. In fact, the very idea of working towards it felt draining.

It was then I realised that this was a Good Girl Goal – a goal I’d set for myself because it seemed ‘right’. It was a clear, definite goal, one that I knew others would be interested in AND it would be a huge achievement when I reached it. Plus it would make me look super-successful.

All the things that my Inner Good Girl valued.

But as I stripped it back, I realised that I’m not actually that driven by the idea of financial freedom.

Of course, it would be nice to have (I mean, who wouldn’t want to be financially free?), but ‘nice to have’ just isn’t compelling enough for me.

Good Girl Goals don’t cut it. They drain your energy, rather than inspire you. They feel like a chore, rather than a joy. They constrict, rather than expand.

So, I decided to let my financial freedom goal go. I’ve set my intention and who knows, maybe I will be financially free by the end of 2016? But I’m not going to strive for it.

Over to you: Check in with any goals you’ve already made for 2016 – do they feel like Good Girl Goals? Are they about looking good, rather than feeling amazing? If so, ask yourself, ‘What do I really want?’ and set some new Unbounded Self intentions.

Lesson No 5 –  You’re often far closer to your dreams than you imagine

This follows on from lesson number 4 as when I started to reflect on my financial freedom goal, I realised that I already had much of what I was striving for.

You know when you do those ‘ideal day’ exercises? You imagine what your ideal day would be like and write down exactly what you would do, who you’d spend time with, where you’d be.

I’ve done that exercise countless times and even included it as part of my financial freedom challenge.

When I write about my ideal day, it’s always pretty much the same – I’m living by the sea with Mr H. I get up each day, do some yoga, write, see a one-to-one client in my gorgeous therapy room, go for a walk by the sea, have lunch with a friend and then cook dinner for Mr H and I.

It’s not too ‘out there’, is it? But this is what would make me happy. This is my ideal day.

And a couple of months ago, as I was out for a walk on Southampton Common I realised that actually I was pretty much living my ideal life right now.

I don’t live right on the sea, but I do live on the south coast within easy access to the beach. And apart from that, I can tick every single box on my ideal day checklist.

I couldn’t believe I’d never seen this before. It was only when I allowed myself to slow down, do less and shift my priorities that I realised I pretty much have everything I wanted right now.

No waiting.

No striving.

No trying.

My. Ideal. Life.

I simply allowed myself to appreciate all that I have already. Something I knew and was teaching to others, but wasn’t fully doing myself.

And I guess it’s not just me that this is the case for.

Over to you: When you think about your ideal day, how much of it have you actually got access to already? Rather than focusing on how far away your dreams seem, choose to notice how close they are to you.

Lesson No 6 –  Choosing to go grey

This was part of my commitment to being ‘unbound’ in 2015. I decided to stop dying my hair and allow my natural grey to come through.

I got my first grey hairs when I was in my mid-teens and as I had dark brown hair, I noticed them immediately.

I only had a couple at first, but by my late twenties, they were much more noticeable and I started to dye my hair.

After 15 years of doing this every few weeks, I was completely fed up with it. I hated when my grey roots started to come through and was really conscious of them.

Mr H has been grey for years and encouraged me to follow suit. And I told myself that maybe when I was 50, I’d allow my grey to come through. (Why 50? I really don’t know!)

But was as I got towards the end of 2014, I asked myself, ‘Why not now?’ I had a strong desire to be completely me, truly authentic and how could I be that if I was slapping on dye every four weeks?

I talked to my hairdresser and he said that the grey would suit my skin colour and as I still had some dark hairs, it would be gradual process. So I decided to go for it.

I can’t tell you how liberating it was to stop dying my hair. But it was scary too as more and more grey came through.

For the first time in my life, I was going to have fair hair. I imagined that I’d look completely different. Would my clothes suit me, or would I have to get a new wardrobe?

But to be honest, over a year on from the last time I dyed my hair, the grey is still not completely through. I still have a fair amount of dark hair and because it’s been such a gradual process, I don’t notice the difference too much (although lots of other people have commented on it, mostly complimentary!)

But when I pull my hair back and see the grey underneath, sometimes I wobble as I see myself as an older woman.

Being young has always been part of my identity. People have often commented that I look young for my age and as I don’t have children, I’ve never moved into the ‘mother’ phase of my life.

So now it feels like I’m making a huge leap from young girl to older woman, from maiden towards crone, jarring my sense of identity.

And then I remember the wisdom I’ve gathered over the years through experience, the way I’m able to express myself more fully and know myself more completely and I lean into the joy of being a wiser, wilder older woman.

It’s exciting!

And it’s such a relief to be more fully me, to show the true me, instead of hiding behind hair dye.

Over to you: Where are you hiding a part of yourself? Where are you clinging on to an old identity that no longer serves you? What change could you make that you would allow you to be more you?

Lesson No 7 – Knowing it’s okay to be inconsistent

This has been a BIG lesson for me this year.

As a recovering good girl, I like to do things right and I’ve always been told that consistency is key in all parts of life, particularly in business.

That’s one of the reasons I always sent weekly newsletters to my community – every Wednesday, regular as clockwork. I blogged pretty much every week and posted consistently on social media.

Most of the time this felt good. Like you, I’m a creative and can always find something to write about and share.

But sometimes, I really didn’t feel like writing. Even when I didn’t have anything compelling to share, I felt I had to go ahead and do it anyway. It was like I was this content-producing machine that couldn’t stop. But of course, I’m not a machine. I’m a woman, which means I operate in a cyclic rather than linear way.

My very nature means that I’m inconsistent (this is one of the key learnings I took from Lisa Lister’s awesome book, ‘Code Red‘). So trying to fit into a consistent structure just wasn’t working for me. In fact, this year I saw it was draining me more than I realised.

Towards the end of the summer when I started to feel low and burned out, I knew that something had to change. As I took time to rest and recover, I stepped back from regular blogging. I let go of the need to send my newsletter every week. And I spent less time on social media.

I decided to write to my community when I felt inspired to.

And guess what? The world didn’t stop.

In fact, I received more interest in what I had to say than ever before.

I have far more time for myself.

And, rather than beating myself up for being inconsistent (which in the past I equated with being lazy), I now listen to my needs and inspirations, rather than over-riding them.

It feels SO good.

Over to you: What are you doing in your life and your business because you feel you ‘should’? What are you aching to let go of? How would it be if you did just that? Lean into that feeling.

So, that’s the 7 life lessons that have come through for me in 2015 (actually as I was writing, I realised there were far more than 7, but once I got to 3000 words, I thought that was enough for now!)

I invite you to comment below with a life lesson you’ve learned this year – I’d love to hear what’s come through for you.

And I wish you a joy-filled and abundant 2016.

Nicola x

Your next step. Want to discover some super-powerful ways to create the abundant life you TRULY desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-Day Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

The 5 blind spots that make you feel the Law of Attraction isn’t working for you

The 5 blind spots that are making you feel the Law of Attraction isn't working for youThe Law of Attraction – the concept seems SO simple eh?

You get back what you put out. Like attracts like.

So, all you need to do is focus on what you want and BINGO.

But if you’re reading this, then I suspect you’ve had some challenges with the Law of Attraction.

Maybe you’ve been saying your affirmations, creating vision boards and trying to attract more money, love and opportunities into your life, but it just isn’t happening?

Or (even more frustratingly!) you’ve experienced those tantalising times when the Law of Attraction has seemed to be working like a dream. ‘I’ve finally cracked it!’, you think. And then your magnetic capabilities seem to falter again.

I get it!

I’ve certainly had my share of ups and downs with the Law of Attraction. And through my personal experience and work as a hypnotherapist and abundance coach, I’ve discovered some sneaky blind spots that we can sometimes overlook.

And the first thing you need to know is that the Law of Attraction is always working for you. Always.

This is a Universal Law we’re talking about here. So there’s no way it can be working like a charm one day and then go walkabout the next.

The Law of Attraction is always in action.

So you can rest assured that you have attracted everything you have in your life right now. Everything.

If your life isn’t quite (or at all) the way you want it, then I understand if that’s a sobering thought for you.

BUT this fact can also be incredibly empowering. Because it means that you are 100% in control of what you attract into your life. You my friend are a super-powerful creator!

So, let’s move onto those blind spots and get you creating the life you desire (and deserve).

Here are the top reasons why you might feel like the Law of Attraction isn’t working for you right now.

1) You’re not paying attention

Can I ask you a question – are you really aware of what you’re attracting right now?

Because in my experience often we overlook much of the good stuff we’ve already created in our lives. Once the initial excitement of having something new wears off (whether it’s a relationship, a higher income, a top-of-the-range car), we take it for granted.

When that happens, we move our attention to the next thing on the list of our desires, what we don’t have right now.

And although it’s a wonderful thing to be expanding our experience and creating more in our lives, it’s counter-productive when we find ourselves in a place of resistance and dissatisfaction.

My ‘aha!’ moment: When I started actively focusing on creating more abundance in my life, I always had my eyes firmly on the prize.  I totally neglected the fact that I already had a whole heap of glorious-ness in my life – a wonderful relationship, a beautiful house, financial security and a business I loved.

Once I woke up to fact that I had created some pretty cool stuff already, I shifted my point of attraction and opened up the flow so even more abundance could come my way.

Hint: Start from a place of appreciation about what you already have – the good stuff you’ve already attracted.

Change Your Point of Attraction: Take 15 minutes and write down all the good stuff you have in your life right now. Go to town and write down everything (big or small) you can think of. Notice how your energy starts to shift as you do this and know you’re raising your vibration!

2) You’re trying too hard

Many of us are conditioned to believe that the good stuff in life doesn’t come easily.

Maybe you were told things like, ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, or ‘Wealth doesn’t come without sacrifice’ when you were growing up?

So, you’re operating under the belief that you have to put your nose to the grindstone and work bloomin’ hard to get what you want.

But when you’ve got your head down, working every hour you can, and really trying to bring your desires into reality, you’re not going to be feeling great.

Trying, striving and pushing generally equates with stress, exhaustion and frustration. And those aren’t the kind of high-vibe feelings that super-charge your Universal attractiveness.

It’s a conundrum – you’re told you have to work hard to get what you want, but working too hard can lower your vibration making it more difficult to attract your desires.

Hint: Although it feels counter-intuitive, you’ll often get better results by doing less.  (See my blog post on Radical Non-Action for more on this.)

My ‘aha!’ moment: For the past few years I’ve worked with the affirmation, ‘Money flows to me effortlessly and in abundance’. At times it seemed to really work for me, but not always and I would end up feeling confused about my elusive wealth-creating abilities.

It was only earlier this year when I realised that the times when my income dried up were those times when I slipped into working too hard – the times when I found myself pushing and striving for success.

These were the times when I was totally going against my newly-created belief that money flows to me effortlessly.

As soon as I eased up on my workload and stopped trying, my flow of income opened up again.

Change Your Point of Attraction: Where are you trying too hard in your life right now? Whether it’s in your business, your love-life or your health, allow yourself to let go and do less. Journal on this question – ‘What would it be like if my desires came to me surprisingly easily?’

3) You’re clinging on to expectations

So, you know what you want to create in your life, you’ve even carefully crafted a dreamboard with beautiful images of your desires and you are SO ready for it all to flow to you, BUT are your expectations getting in the way?

Those pesky expectations can mess with the Law of Attraction in a two different ways.

Firstly, they might not let you believe that you can ever attract what it is you desire. Your expectations may be firmly based on what you’ve experienced in the past and when you start to think about creating anything different in your life, they shut you down with ‘Are you crazy? That’s just not going to happen.’

If that feels like it’s the case for you, blind-spot number 5 will help you out.

Secondly, you may have rigid expectations about how your desires are going to come to you.

Perhaps you’re sure that the only way you can create a higher income is to get a new job, or sell a certain number of a particular product to your clients?

Maybe you’re certain that the only way you can meet the partner of your dreams is via online dating?

Hint: The problem with set expectations is that you can end up closing the door on any other way of your desires flowing to you. You become blind to other opportunities.

My ‘aha!’ moment: When I was in my mid to late-thirties I spent years internet dating, looking for my perfect partner. To be honest, it wasn’t much fun and I generally ended up pretty depressed after yet another date with someone who in no way floated my boat.

Then in 2009 during a reiki workshop, my teacher asked us all to set intentions. So I set an intention to meet my ideal man. I wrote it on a piece of paper and put it into our magical, intention-setting box. Very soon afterwards, I totally gave up on dating. I was tired of the search and decided that I’d be happy to be on my own.

It was only after I let go of my expectations about how (or whether!) I’d meet a man, that the future Mr H messaged me on Facebook. We’d been at school together and hadn’t seen each other for 20 years, so him getting in touch was totally out of the blue. Six years later, we’re very happily married.  Thank you very much Universe!

Change Your Point of Attraction: Where have you closed the door on your desires by having rigid expectations? Ask yourself the question, ‘I wonder how many different ways this could come to me?’ Write down one specific thing you want to manifest in your life, put it somewhere safe, then forget about it. Go about your life with a sense of gratitude for what you already have and be open to the opportunities that flow your way. Know that your desire is coming to you.

4) You’re not open to receive

Being closed off to receive is something I see all the time and it can seriously limit your ability to use the Law of Attraction effectively.

And this ties in closely with point number 3 because often having set expectations stops us from being open to receive our desires in surprising and serendipitous ways.

Know this – the Universe is always trying to send you what you want. But very often, you’re batting it’s efforts away.

The ideal client who really wants to work with you? She comes to your website but it’s not immediately clear how she can work with you, so she goes elsewhere.

The opportunity that’s going to move your business to the next level? It’s that call that you’ve been putting off making.

Your dream partner? It could just be that guy who keeps trying to make conversation with you in the coffee shop but you always feel too busy to stop.

My ‘aha!’ moment: Actually with this point, it’s more a series of aha moments for me! I’m constantly noticing areas where I’ve been closed off to receiving – the times I don’t make a clear offer to prospective clients, the positive feedback I bat away with ‘Oh, it was nothing’ and the projects I procrastinate on, even though I know they’re income-generating opportunities. Building your receiving muscle is a continual process and it’s all good learning.

Change Your Point of Attraction: Over the next 24 hours set your intention to be open to receiving. Graciously accept compliments and positive feedback, ask for any help or support you need, say ‘yes’ to opportunities and invitations, make it clear how people can work with you. Allow the Universe to give you the good stuff!

5) Your ‘stuff’ is blocking the signal

This is probably the most important blind-spot I’m talking about here.

Although on the surface you might be super-clear on what you want to attract into your life, if you don’t truly believe you can create your desires then the Law of Attraction is going to feel pretty darn frustrating for you.

This is where it can get complicated. Because very often we’re not aware of our unconscious programming – the beliefs that were created when we were very young.

So you set your sights on what you want, but your underlying beliefs are sending out a completely different signal.

You want to create a six-figure business, but deep down you believe that no-one will like you if you’re wealthy.

You want to find your ideal partner, but deep down you think you’re unloveable.

You want to publish a best-selling book, but deep down you believe that you’re not good enough and no-one would really want to hear what you have to say.

All of these mixed signals lead to self-sabotage and frustration, as time and time again we end up actually repelling our desires.

This is the work I specialise in – using hypnotherapy and emotional freedom technique to help my clients uncover and shift their unconscious limiting beliefs. Basically I help people to clear out the stuff that’s getting in the way of them creating the life they want.

My ‘aha!’ moment: One of the beliefs I’ve worked with as I’ve grown my business is, ‘People won’t like me if I’m successful’. For a long time this stopped me from putting my head above the parapet.  It kept me and my business small and quiet.

Once I identified this belief and started working on it, I realised that people liking me and being successful were not mutually exclusive.  I created new, more resourceful beliefs which allowed my business to flourish.

Change Your Point of Attraction: Earlier this year I created a tapping routine using EFT specifically designed to help you release any limiting money beliefs.  Click here to access it and clear the stuff that’s stopping you from attracting the wealth you desire (and deserve!)

So, that’s the five main blind spots that can make you feel like the Law of Attraction is not working for you.  Which one resonates with you most?  Don’t forget  to comment below and let me know.

Your next step. Want to discover even more ways to create the deliciously abundant life you TRULY desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-Day Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

My 8 Top Books of 2015

My top 8 Books of 2015I’ve always been a book-worm!  Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve often to be found, squirrelled away with my nose in a book.  So as we approach the end of 2015, I thought I’d look back and reflect on the books that have impacted on me the most this year (get them on your Christmas list!).

Please note: some of these books were actually published in 2015, but most of them weren’t.  I wanted to include books that I’ve particularly enjoyed this year, regardless of when they were published.

Btw you can find a link to each book by clicking on the title.

1) ‘Women Who Run With the Wolves’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I first read this book when I was doing my counselling training a few years ago, as it was on the recommended reading list.  I enjoyed it at the time, but didn’t connect with it fully.

I decided to re-read it earlier this year and oh my goodness, it blew me away!  When I read it in bed before going to sleep, I would often have powerful, symbolic dreams.

By exploring and sharing stories from throughout time and around the world, Estes tells us about the ‘wild woman’ who’s there within all of us.

I can imagine that reading this book will be a yearly ritual for me from now on.

This is for you if you want to dive deep into what it is to be a woman.

2) ‘The Desire Map‘ by Danielle Laporte

In truth, I read this at the end of 2014, but it’s had a profound effect on me this year.

Laporte turns goal-setting on its head and leads us through a process to identify our Core Desired Feelings before creating more practical goals to generate these feelings.

This book had me sitting with a dictionary and thesaurus to drill down into the meanings of my shortlist of core desired feelings, so I could find the most potent version of them.

By working through The Desire Map I identified ‘Unbound’ as my prime desired feeling and this has guided me throughout the year with the choices I’ve made and the work I’ve focused on.

I’ll be coming back to it this year to re-evaluate my core desired feelings for 2016.

This is for you if you’re tired of ‘normal’ goal-setting and are ready to create Goals with Soul.

3) ‘The Art of Asking’ by Amanda Palmer

I’m reading this right now and I’ve pretty much devoured it in a couple of days (which is always a good sign!)

I often write about enhancing your receive-ability as a key money mastery principle and this book looks at it from a slightly different angle.  Palmer talks super-compellingly about her own experience of asking for help, money, a bed for the night whilst touring with her band and all sorts of other things.

She also writes about the importance of community, building your tribe of raving fans and how to do this using social media and blogging.  All this combined with insights into her relationship with author, Neil Gaiman.

Believe me, this book is SO much more interesting than I’ve just made it sound!

This is for you if you need to get better at asking for support (and we pretty much ALL need to do that).

4) ‘The Big Leap‘ by Gay Hendricks

I read this book for the third time this year, so it has to go on the list.  I even wrote a blog post and created a video about it (click here to have a peek).

In it Hendricks talks about how to move through the self-imposed barriers we create to receiving success, abundance and love.  He calls these (often subconscious) barriers Upper Limit Problems.

Every time I read this book I take something new from it and I’m always recommending it to clients.  It’s helped me to identify and move through MANY Upper Limit Problems over the past couple of years.

A must-read.

This is for you if you’re prone to self-sabotage.

5) ‘Code Red‘ by Lisa Lister

I am a self-confessed super-fan of Lisa Lister’s and when she released this book earlier in the year, I was lucky enough to have read an advance copy.

In Code Red, Lisa writes about how to harness the super-powers of your menstrual cycle – how to live and work in alignment with the rhythms of nature.

This information has transformed the way I run my business and given me permission to be gloriously inconsistent.

Click here to hear a special interview I recorded with Lisa where we talk all things ‘Code Red’.

This is for you if you’re a woman (or you live or work with a woman).

6) ‘Big Magic‘ by Elizabeth Gilbert

I’d been waiting for this book to come out for much of the year.  I’m an avid follower of Elizabeth Gilbert on Facebook and often share her posts.

This book is about creativity and how to move through the challenges we often experience when we attempt to create something.

There are some fantastic perception-shifters here – my personal favourite was rather than being hung-up on having to follow your passion, follow your curiosity instead.  It felt like such a relief to read this!

This is for you if you long to create anything in this world.

7) ‘Succulent Wild Woman‘ by SARK

I first read this book a couple of years ago and was called back to it again recently on a rainy Sunday.  I pretty much read the whole thing again in a few hours.

I ADORE this book!  SARK writes about love, money, sexuality, business, creativity and adventure with the most amazing zest and lightness.

Plus she extols the many virtues of napping, which I love.  The other day when I was working on my book and didn’t feel like sitting at my desk, I remembered how SARK often took to her bed to write in her pyjamas and I joyfully granted myself permission to follow suit.

This is for you if you are a woman who loves (or would like to do more) extravagant lounging.

8) ‘Ask and it is Given‘ by Esther and Jerry Hicks

Again this is a book that I’ve read before, but when I revisited it this year I took much more from it.

Presenting the teachings of Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks help us learn how to manifest our desires.  What I particularly like are the 22 different processes they give us at the end of the book – all simple ways to raise your vibration and attract more into your life.  I use many of these in my daily life.

Since reading this book, I’ve become an avid watcher of Abraham Hicks videos on Youtube and I always take away a new snippet of inspiration.

This is a joyful, expansive book and one I’ll come back to time and time again.

This is for you if you want to learn more about the law of attraction.

So that’s my top 8 books of 2015.

I didn’t want to create a list of 10 just for the sake of it, but there are some books that just missed out.

The Miracle Morning‘ by Hal Elrod    If you want to create a powerful morning ritual

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying‘ by Marie Kondo   If you want to become a decluttering queen

You Can Heal You Life‘ by Louise Hay   If you want to create a life you love (and let’s face it, who doesn’t?)

I’d love you to comment below and let me know what your top book of 2015 is.  Maybe it’s one of mine (and if not, I’m always looking for new inspiration).

Happy reading!

Nicola x

Your next step. Want to discover some super-powerful ways to create the abundant life you truly desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free 7-Day Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

 

 

Radical non-action

Radical Non-ActionIs it just me, or do you ever feel that life (and business) makes NO sense whatsoever?

You know those times when it feels like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things – following the same kind of plans and systems that are working for everyone else – but you’re just not seeing the results you hoped for.

It just doesn’t make sense, right?

And it can feel super-frustrating.

I know, because I have SO been there.

To be honest, in the 6 years I’ve been in business, most of the time there hasn’t been a whole lotta correlation between the action I’ve taken (writing blogs, marketing myself, being on social media, creating products, running events) and the results I’ve seen.

A couple of friends who run their own businesses asked me over the summer how I attract clients and my answer was, ‘I don’t really know!’

Because the truth is that my clients tend to come to me in unexpected ways, rather than via elaborately created marketing funnels.

Whether it’s seeing one of my EFT videos on Youtube and knowing they want to work with me, or just having a feeling that I’m the person to help them, my clients just show up (often very randomly).

And when that happens, it’s wonderful (of course), but it can also feel pretty erratic.  I mean, how do you make plans or set goals when your clients just rock up whenever it ‘feels right’?

In the past it’s felt like there’s been no real pattern to the results I created in my business.  I knew that doing inner work (using EFT, hypnotherapy and journalling) made a difference – but any practical action I took didn’t seem to have any specific impact.

Over the summer I started to feel burned out and the flow of new clients dried up (I wrote about it here) and I instinctively knew that I had to just STOP.

So I did.

I stopped taking any action in my business.

I stopped ‘trying’ to attract new clients.

I stopped sending my newsletter every week without fail.

I rested.

I decorated my kitchen.

I went for daily walks.

AND prospective clients started to contact me again.

I gave myself permission to slow down and my business started to flow without me taking any particular action.

In fact, earlier this week I started working with 3 new clients – one of whom I first met two years ago and another who first enquired about working with me 18 months ago, and they both suddenly decided that now feels like the right time.

So what on earth is the lesson here?

How can you and I use this experience to create even more abundance in our lives and businesses?

What I’ve come to believe is, it’s REALLY simple.

Perhaps so simple that we resist believing it (because as the wonderful humans we are, we kinda expect things to be complicated).

What I’ve found is the less I DO, the more I receive.

The more I relax and feel good, the more I attract into my life.

That it’s not about the action you take, it’s about the way you FEEL.

And in one form or another, I realise I’ve heard this many times in the past.  One of my coaches always used to say, ‘Your only job is to feel good’ (and this would trigger the hell out of me.  I’d think, ‘Yes, but how is that going to pay the bills?’)

But what I’ve seen over the past few months is that I really need to do very little (much, much less than you would ever think) to attract clients and make money.

It doesn’t seem to make sense, but that’s how it’s been working.  And I know in the past that I’ve always had the best months in my business when I’ve been feeling good and often after taking a holiday.

But how do you translate this into your own life and business?

Because I know it can be pretty darn frustrating to hear someone say – ‘Just go with the flow. Focus on feeling good and everything will turn out fine’.

Well here’s what’s worked for me:

Not being attached to any particular goal or outcome.  I KNOW this can be super-annoying to hear too!  I could write a whole other blog post on this (and probably will), but put simply – be playful with your goals, see them as a kinda game and always be open to other outcomes.

If you start feeling icky about something (under pressure, busy, anxious, stressed), take a break and do something different. Get outside and go for a walk or take a nap.  Just before starting to write this blog post, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do (or whether I wanted to do anything!), so rather than just keeping myself busy, I went for nap and the inspiration for this article came to me.  I’ve no idea what the response will be, but I’m enjoying writing it (and if it resonates with you, I trust that you’ll let me know!)

Do way less than you feel you ‘should’ be doing.  Seriously, many of us seem to be caught up in an epidemic of busy-ness, constantly on-the-go and doing something.  Strip your to-do list back to the bare minimum, only do the absolute essentials and stuff you really enjoy. Apart from that, allow yourself to just be.  (And rest far more than you think you need to.)  At the moment I’m working about 3 hours per day and believe me, the world hasn’t stopped!

Practice delayed gratification.  If you’re anything like me, you get a 100 different ideas about things to do in your business every single day (I may be exaggerating slightly, but sometimes it feels like it!)   I used to believe that I had to implement every single idea that came to me – so I would start something and then something else would come along and I’d end up feeling overloaded and distracted. Not good.  My head is still a very busy place, but now I’ve given myself permission to delay acting on any inspirations that come to me.  When my thoughts go into overdrive, I simply send thanks to my mind for being so creative and remind myself that my number one focus at the moment is writing my first book.  If I’m still wanting to take an idea forward after a few days, then I might come back to it (but usually my mind has moved onto something else by then!)

Trust. This kind of approach to business (or life in general) demands a huge amount of trust.  It can feel completely counter-intuitive to do less and purely focus on feeling good.  All sorts of limiting beliefs have come up for me, especially the idea that I’m just being lazy.  But the proof is in the pudding.  For the last few months, I’ve been working about 50% less than I had been and my income is the same as it was, if not higher.  Go figure. Seriously, the Universe does not require you to run yourself ragged. Try doing less and see what happens for you.

As I was out walking today, I realised that I could sum my new approach to business up as radical non-action.

I’m allowing myself to do very little and everything I am doing, I’m doing because I enjoy it.

I must admit, it does feel strange at the moment.  I keep catching myself trying to create work so I can feel busy, because I feel like I should be doing something.

And it feels strange (and a little scary) to realise that there’s no particular system or action steps that I can follow to create a specific outcome.

But I’m enjoying this process of letting go.

So, watch this space as I’m sure I’ll be writing more about radical non-action (or not, depending on how I feel).

 

 

 

An exercise for when you’re tired of waiting for what you want to show up

An exercise for when you're tired of waiting for what you want to show upI was just working with a client who feels like she has spent the past couple of years waiting for what she wants to arrive.

She’s fed-up and frustrated with waiting.

Whenever she feels like she’s getting somewhere, another obstacle seems to appear in the way.

She’s finding it difficult to believe she’ll EVER get what she wants.

So here’s what I asked her to do today (and you can do this too if you’re waiting for your dreams to manifest right now):

Remember a time when you were waiting to receive something you really, really wanted.

You wanted it SO much, you thought about it all the time and it felt like you might not ever get it.

You yearned for that thing and it seemed like you’d been waiting for ever.

Then remember the moment when you actually received that thing.

See what you can see in that moment.

Hear what you can hear.

Smell what you can smell.

Taste what you can taste.

Feel how you feel physically, mentally and emotionally to FINALLY receive that thing you’ve been waiting for.

Allow yourself to experience that feeling in every cell in your body.

Know on every level that it’s possible to receive something you’ve been waiting for.

When you do this, you can’t help but let go of resistance, even if it’s just for a few moments. You move from a vibration of waiting and frustration into a place of receiving, joy and excitement.

So, if you’re waiting for something to show up in your life right now, do this short exercise every day either when you wake up in the morning or before you go to sleep at night.

And be ready to welcome your dreams into reality.

Your next step. Ready to discover even more ways to create the deliciously abundant life you TRULY desire (and deserve!)? Click here to join my free Money Mastery Kickstarter Challenge and get going right away.

What to do when you’re feeling burned out

What to do when you're feeling burned outOver the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling burned out.

To be honest, I think it was building for a while but I ignored it and a couple of Mondays ago, it hit me.

I finally gave in to the fact that I was feeling low, exhausted and lacking any sort of motivation.

I also acknowledged that over the past month or so, my business had slowed down.  And as September arrived, things weren’t picking up in the way I expected.  In fact, as I finished working with some long-term clients, there were no new enquiries to replace them.

Fact: When you’re feeling depleted emotionally and energetically, it will be reflected in all other areas of your life, including your bank balance.

I’d been moving along, everything going just swell and believing that I had the balance right, but really I’d been thinking about my business constantly- making plans, thinking about ‘what’s next?’ and setting myself ever-higher goals.

That’s why I burned out.

And the Universe in it’s infinite wisdom was making me see it.A temporary pause in action

I even pulled this angel card during my Monday morning meditation. ‘Seeds well planted. A temporary pause in action. Unnecessary worry.’

At first I thought, ‘You have got to be kidding me? I’ve done ALL of this work the past few years and this can still happen to me?’

But I knew I had to listen and to pay attention to the signs to get myself back on track.

And as I know that we all have times like this, I want to share the steps I took to create a shift for myself (actually ‘steps’ implies that I took action, but really it’s more about non-action).

So, here’s my advice for times when you’re feeling burned out:

Give yourself permission to pause and just be – really not easy for me, as I felt a strong urge to ‘do’.  I couldn’t resist taking some action, but mostly I switched off from my business.  Only do what you absolutely HAVE to do. (Hint: this will be much less than you think).

Ask for support – as soon as I realised this wasn’t just going to pass by ignoring it, I talked to those closest to me and let them know what was going on and how I was feeling. Just doing this felt like a huge release and helped me to take some time out, rather than carrying on pretending it was all ‘business as usual’.

I also had an angel card reading with the completely awesome Isobel Gatherer, which affirmed many of the messages that had been coming through to me.  Sometimes you just need to hear the words from someone else.

Trust and know this is happening for a reason – when things are ticking along nicely, we don’t have any real incentive to create change in our lives.  That’s why every now and again, the Universe will send you a curve ball, almost forcing you to reflect and reassess.  See this as a good thing – you’re growing, shifting and up-levelling.

Move into receiving mode – when you burn-out it’s likely that you’ve been over-giving and now it’s time to balance that out by switching into receiving mode. Allow yourself to receive support, love, money (even from unexpected sources), gifts, care and attention. Demonstrate that you’re open to receive, so you can open up the flow again.

Journal about your feelings (and tap) – I’m not the most consistent journal-keeper, but at times like this I know it helps to get it all out of my head and on to paper.  Once I’ve written about how I’m feeling, I use EFT to tap on the emotions that are coming up for me.

Focus on something completely different – I was pretty lucky this last few weeks, as Mr H and I are currently renovating our kitchen. So rather than endlessly thinking about my business, I spent a lot of time painting and being an apprentice to Mr H as he tiled, fitted worktops and plumbed in new taps.  (I usually hate decorating, but I found this SO therapeutic!)

Now, you’re probably not in the midst of major renovations, but you can clean, clear, paint, draw, knit, bake, garden – anything that allows you to be mindful and switch off.

In addition to all of the above, I’ve also given myself a prescription to do the following:

  • Go for an hour’s walk every day
  • Sleep (as much as I need, which has been a lot)
  • Consume uplifting (rather than purely informational) material, such as books, videos and podcasts (my favourites have been Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons podcast and any Abraham Hicks videos on YouTube)
  • Limit my time on social media

So, that’s what I’ve been doing these past couple of weeks or so and things are starting to turn a corner.

I’ve had new client enquiries and past clients returning to me.

I’ve had a couple of speaking invitations and my local newspaper emailed to ask if I could send them something about a networking event I’m hosting this week so they can cover it.

And I have a new sense of clarity about what to focus on next.

So my message to you, for times when you’re struggling, is hold on, be kind to yourself, know that this will pass and you are always supported.

Much love,

Nicola x