Something that’s been coming up for myself and my clients recently is the dreaded fear of messing up, of making a mistake or (god forbid) pissing someone off.
This fear is one of the most limiting there is.
As recovering good girls, most of us are also recovering perfectionists. We put a WHOLE heap of pressure on ourselves.
I’m guessing that you like to get it right and for a lot of your life, you HAVE got it right. You learned early on that doing well gains approval from others (parents, teachers, bosses), so you put yourself on an endlessly upward trajectory – always reaching for the next goal and very unlikely to acknowledge how far you’ve already come (because I know you’ve come a LONG way).
And then you started your own business. And suddenly everything wasn’t quite so clear-cut.
Because now you’re in charge. You’re the boss.
And there’s no clear, upward path to follow. Some online marketing might lead you to believe there’s a set 7-step system to success, but very soon you realise that’s not the case.
It’s not at all obvious how to ‘get it right’.
And often when you feel you ARE doing it the ‘right way’ and following the rules, you don’t get the results you hoped for.
All of your life you’ve been following a set path, merrily ticking off achievements. And when you start your own business, it feels like you’ve suddenly been thrown into a whirlpool. Information comes at you from all directions, there seems to be NO logic to how you achieve results (it all seems a bit random a lot of the time) and you’re permanently on an emotional rollercoaster.
So far, so so overwhelming, eh?
So why do we do it? Why do we choose to run our own businesses?
Let me remind you.
We do it because we want to be in control of our own destinies.
We do it because we crave freedom.
We do it because we are creative, visionary women.
We do it because we have something important to share with the world.
We do it because we can’t NOT do it.
But despite ALL of this, a lot of the time we hold ourselves back because we’re scared of making a mistake. We’re stuck in that old linear, goal-driven mindset that we’ve been brought up with.
And that will not serve us now.
Because if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not growing.
If you don’t allow yourself to be disapproved of by some, you won’t be loved by the ones who are YOUR people.
And if you’re making an impact, the fact is that you WILL piss some people off. (I know that’s hard to hear. I have the strongest aversion to feeling that I’ve made anyone angry, but it’s something I’m having to get used to as I grow my business).
Don’t let your good girl fear of messing up get in the way of doing what you’re here to do.
Because, the truth is you CAN’T get it wrong.
Whatever you choose to do, and whatever the outcome, it’s ALL learning. And it’s ALL moving you forward.
The only way you lose is if you hold back, if you try to fit the mould and ‘get it right’.
So here’s my advice for you:
Actively celebrate when you feel like you’ve messed up. Acknowledge and feel the feelings that come up and then choose to celebrate. Each mistake is progress.
Create an unwavering connection to your Unbound Self. Your Unbound Self is the part of you that KNOWS. She’s the being that expresses ALL of you (not just those parts that your inner good girl deems to be acceptable). She is your greatest source of wisdom and inspiration. And she’s your greatest ally in business. Together you are UNSTOPPABLE.
Give yourself permission to experiment. Whenever you have a choice to make, adopt a playful attitude. Let yourself try things out. Take the pressure OFF. You learn through doing, so do.Unmade decisions are one of the biggest energy drains there are, so make a choice. (And remember you can’t get it wrong). See how it goes, learn from it and move take your next step from there.
Permission to mess up, granted!
Your next step: If you want to learn how to harness the power of your Unbound Self and become compellingly attractive to more of your joy-to-work-with clients, join me for my one-day event, The Unbound Voice: a magnetic visibility workshop for women in business. Click here for more details and to claim your space.